Am I a Poor Judge of Character?

Since I can't sleep tonight, I'm writing a blog. I used to fall asleep without any problems, but middle age has ruined that for me. Sigh.

One time, several years ago, I witnessed a situation where I learned that I'd been lied to. Not just a little white lie, but a systematic and complicated network of deception by a person to conceal the fact that he had AIDS. When the truth finally came out, along with all the sordid accompanying details, I (and others) responded first with shock. Then sadness. Then anger. Then with self-doubt. The questions came: "Am I such a bad judge of character that I couldn't see through the lies? Shouldn't I have figured this out? How did I allow myself to be duped? Am I that stupid? If he lied to me, I wonder how many other people are lying to me? Should I examine people's words more carefully before I accept them? Am I too trusting?"

Years have passed, but I'm still uncomfortable when I recall that situation. I guess it has been hard to forgive this person--for his bad choices and for lying to me about them.

Recently, I've faced a new but similar situation. I trusted someone but later learned that this person was not worthy of my trust. In this case, I confronted the person and they admitted their sin and asked for forgiveness. I actually told them I forgave them, and indeed I tried to forgive, but truthfully, I'm not sure I really have deep down inside my heart. I still hurt over their bad choices, and I still question myself for allowing myself to be deceived.

It is tempting to develop an attitude of "trust no one" to avoid being duped again.

What a Computer is Not Good For

My husband is off at meetings for 10 days. His computer more or less died the first day out and has since gone from bad to worse. The experts are examining it tomorrow. In the mean time, someone lent him a computer to finish preparing his speech which was presented this morning without incident.

But I had to laugh when I was going through his email inbox this morning. One email said, "Hey Gary. I'm sitting on your right. Can I have a meeting with you over lunch?"

So I, in Dallas, wrote back: "First of all, Gary's computer died. Second, he's not reading email. Third, he can't see well enough to read emails during all the boring meetings like everyone else. If you want to talk to him, then tap in on the shoulder and look him in the eye and talk to him!"

The person emailed back, "OK, I will."

Aren't computers great??