Copy editors needed

I keep mentioning personnel needs for my husband on the off chance that somebody reading this will decide to become a missionary when they grow up. Or, failing that, at least give a few spare hours to the cause.

Today he's looking for copy editors. Well, proofreaders, really. Lots of them. He has 558 pages of minutia that needs to be close to perfect by Friday Sept 10. Not just read once, but read twice (that is, each page needs to be edited independently by two different people. This is for the Ethnologue, our flagship publication that comes out every four years. It is a detailed listing of the 6,911 languages that exist in this world. And it is easy to make tiny mistakes when telling all the details about these languages. So we need help to get it right.

He is passing it out by geographical area, finding a colleague who worked in Colombia and begging them to take the Colombia section. We have a friend from Indonesia whom he's trying to get me to call and beg. I guess he thinks that as long as he doesn't have a life, so one else should do anything fun over the long holiday weekend either.

Well, I've taken the first 33 pages of the Africa section, so I'd better get started.

Update! I had barely pushed the "Publish" button when the phone rang. Somebody came and took 34 more pages of the Americas section. Yay!

Whoops!

One tow truck--$50
One new battery--$100
One new alternator--$200
labor to put them in--$200
learning to turn the headlights off--priceless

The fog is lifting

I think I'm about over my week of sadness. I guess one of the worst parts about the kids leaving is the anticipation of them leaving. Once the stressful time leading up their departure is over, and then I know they have safely arrived at their destination, then I start feeling better. It did make me feel better to reorganize some of the house; a friend told me that psychologists sometimes prescribe closet cleaning as a way to restore order to your life and by analogy, to your mind. I'm grateful for friends to talk to also, for the nice weather, and especially for God's love that never fails me.

D. should arrive in DC later tonight. He will have one day to organize himself, then his job at the National Cancer Institute starts on Thursday with a departmental retreat in the Shenandoah National Park. That sounds like a nice way to start a job, huh?

Lord, bless them all as they start new jobs, new school year. Help them to find the friends that they need and to find opportunities to grow in your grace.

I talked to all my kids today

A.'s friend found a cheap* calling card to use to call Ethiopia which I finally got to work today after four tries. It was good to hear from him, he's doing well. He was all excited because he got to meet Joseph Stiglitz and had him sign his copy of Globalization and its Discontents . Stiglitz is the 2001 Nobel prize winner in economics and was at some conference that A. managed to get invited to. On top of this, we said he is trying to wrangle an invitation to some other thing tomorrow so he can meet the US ambassador to Ethiopia.

*I say cheap, but it is still like $.16 per minute. I talked until the $10 card ran out. He's still not clear where he will live, whether Addis or Awassa, but he said he's tired of living in a hotel.

R. called too. I've been trying not to talk to her much. But she wanted to talk because she was sick. She confessed to staying up too late and that probably got her off schedule, then she got a migraine headache for two days with vomiting, etc. I trust she will soon learn her limits and be willing to live by them so she doesn't get sick and does go to class.

D. is on the road today, sleeping at Taylor to visit his old friends in the dorm. Tomorrow a long drive to DC.

As for myself, I'm starting to compile, with help from my friends, a Top Ten Ways You Can Tell Your Nest Is Empty list. Stay tuned.

Perl programmer needed

Now G. says he needs a Perl programmer. D. had been doing it over the summer, but now he is gone. As D. was getting in his car and leaving for DC yesterday morning he confessed to his dad that he had taken his Perl book. G. reminded him that this particular copy was an autographed gift copy from Larry Wall himself, so plan to give it back. (Larry and G. were schoolmates at Seattle Pacific College. In fact, G. gave Larry his first programming job in the records office of the college. G. also talked Larry into attending SIL where he studied a semester of linguistics. Larry claims that the study of linguistics somehow lead to his creation of Perl, and he wrote a nice note to that effect in the front of this copy of the Perl book that D. stole.)

So anybody know a Perl programmer who wants to work for missionary wages? The pay is bad, but the fringe benefits are great :-)

Just the cat

is left for me to fuss over. And this particular cat plays the part well. It won't even drink water from a bowl, it only drinks from a running faucet. This cat has me trained to wake up when it scratches on the door or the window from outside. And it needs fresh food, not food from hours ago, it its bowl. I draw the line on letting it sleep in our room because it will nuzzle up against you and then act offended if you roll over.

Well, D. left minutes ago. If I had a digital camera I would post a picture of him driving off in the rain. I did take a photo, but it is the old-fashioned film kind.

For the next few days I will clean and pack and sort and repack as empty nest therapy. I'll probably make two empty bedrooms over into guest rooms. The third empty bedroom we'll keep for R., for at least one more year. Sometimes it is nice to have guest rooms, but there is also the possiblilty of turning one end of our house into an apartment to rent to students, and then we could get some income from it. It has been several years since we did that, so it would take some effort to move my stuff out and return it to rentable condition. But maybe it would be a way to help pay for R.'s last year at college. We'll have to give that some thought.

A week of tears

This has been a hard week for me. A week ago tonight I cried at a wedding, and not just for the reasons that women cry at weddings. Then I cried during the stress of packing up one child and then I cried from the sadness of her leaving. Then I cried during the stress of packing the other kid up and then I cried from the sadness of him leaving. And don't forget crying from the sadness of having the other kid thousands of miles away. (And then there's the crying from feeling stupid and selfish for crying.)

Yes, all the kids leaving makes me sad. But other things make me sad too. In fact, I feel like I have a long list lof things making me sad right now. One of the is the feeling that I am invisible, like no one* really cares about the sadness I feel.

And really, why should they? I'm the steady person who helps others, not the person whom others help. I'm the person who serves others, not the person whom others serve.

I really shouldn't post this. It is truely stupid to wallow in self-pity, but that is indeed how I feel at the moment. I feel sad and invisible.

*I am lucky, I realize, to have a husband who tolerates all this crying and self pity of mine. He doesn't exactly empathize, but neither does he criticize. He listenes to me complain and doesn't, for the most part, get upset. He'll never get an award for World's Best Family Counselor, but at least he doesn't reject me and he takes my grievences seriously, while pointing out the other person's side of the story. I am blessed to have his steady agape love.

A perfect mother

would know the perfect balance between being involved and leaving alone--according to the need of each child (for indeed this illusive perfect balance is different for each child). And a perfect mother would have the will power to put that knowledge into practice.

I am not a perfect mother.

R.'s last year of college

is about to begin. D. and I will drive her to OKC tomorrow, leaving at 6am. I am feeling kind of sad. Not just about her leaving, but also because in another 2-3 days D. will also be leaving. But then, this is the Empty Nest blog.

R. has had a good summer for the most part. She is feeling pretty good about facing her last year of college. It will be a challenge with student teaching in the spring and one more standardized test to get her teaching certificate. It is probably too early to worry about it yet, but finishing college means getting a job, and if she were to actually get a teaching job for next year, those applications would need to be made during the spring too. She has to think through where she wants to locate, if she wants to move back to Texas and try to get a Texas certificate after having an Oklahoma one. We have to decide whether we would want her to live with us after she graduates. Turning the end of our house into a separate apartment again is a possibility. We don't need to think too hard about these matters at the moment, but they are in the back of our minds.

And for her, she has to emotionally be ready to take another step of independence. She has fears of living alone but where she lives will have a lot to do with where she gets a job.

Lord, these are concerns on my heart. Take care of R. Help her in the immediate days to transition into a new living situation without a roommate, with new classes. Help her to find a job that suits her. Help her to find the friends that she needs, even though many of her classmates have already graduated or changed schools. Help her to trust you about having or not having a boyfriend. I know she is at the age and place in life that she wants to get married and have a home of her own. Many of her friends will be getting engaged or married. Help her to trust you with this aspect of her life. Bring the right man to her at the right time--may he think of her as a precious gift from you and love her without hesitation.

Lord, help me too. I'm feeling sad. I'm happy that my kids are all doing so well, that they all love you. But I'm sad because I miss them and I have to let them go. Help me to trust you for their well-being.

Victory in Jesus

I hate that song. I refuse to sing it. They sang it in church this morning, so I just stood there and remembered all the bad things associated in my mind with that song. How I trusted him, how I listened to him, how I did what he said because he was my pastor. How he would play that song on his accordion.

He failed me. He failed his wife. He failed God most of all. That's why I hate that song.

Cats and Dogs

Someone I know is like a puppy dog:
happy
adoring
not worried about what people think
forgiving
stupid
too eager to please
nondiscriminating

Someone else I know is like a cat:
aware
cautious
smart
counting the cost
sedentary
aloof
secretly enjoying the attention

Cats and dogs can't get along together, can they?

Linda, this is God talking

I love her more than you do. I will take care of her. I will take care of her better than you can. I actually know what is best for her, I know better than you. You need to trust me on this one.

Love, God

p.s. I love you, too.

And further down

I did go shopping with R. on Wednesday and survived. By some miracle we found a pair of jeans that fit in a record amount of time, as well as a pair of khakis. We didn't stay as long as she wanted and she dropped her shopping list somewhere on aisle 9, so we need to go again. Maybe Saturday? Lord, help her has she emotionally and mentally prepares for a transition back to school. Strengthen her, help her to trust you in all areas of her life, fill her with your joy. Thank you for a good summer for her.

D. is starting to get ready to leave too, but he doesn't want much help. He put new speakers in "his" "new" car, and blue lights inside. Now that the MCAT is over he is reading things like journal articles called "Three-Dimensional Electron Microscopy at Molecular Resolution." He's supposed to be doing some programming for G., but I think his car speakers are drawing him away. Lord, help him as he prepares to leave home and start a career. Help him to trust you in all areas of his life, to love you, and to love others.

Summer winding down

We are starting to think about and work toward the fall moves for R. and D. R. is finally doing the homework she was supposed to do all summer, and she's begging me to take her shopping (I hate shopping). She's had a good summer, with 2-3 notable bad times, but good for the most part. She hasn't been too stressed and she's made some new friends and she's had some new experiences. She heads back to her last year at college, with its set of challenges, next Wednesday.

We've made some decisions about D.'s move to DC. He decided to drive the "new" car. They have all but finalized his approval to live in the Presbyterian house. He will leave Aug. 29 or 30. He will move in on Sept 1, and his job starts Sept. 2. Lots of changes in store for him. The Time magazine that arrived yesterday had a picture of a colorful fat molecule on it--"That's what I'm going to be doing at my new job--making these kinds of pictures with an electron microscope."

Lord, help me as we start another time of transition. Help me to know how and when to be involved, and how and when to back off. Take care of them as they leave again. Draw them close to yourself as they start the next phase. Help me to cope with my empty nest.

Phlebotomy

I wonder if I spelled that correctly? We will visit the medical vampire this morning. Until then, no food, just water.

We usually do physicals every year, but I think we skipped last year. Mostly it is the same report: you should eat less, exercise more, but other than that you are in good health. We'll see what they say this year. I'm a little bit concerned because it seems like I've been noticing my heart beating in recent months. Yeah, I know, it beats all the time. But I don't usually notice or feel it beating. My mom has had heart problems--both my mom and her mom have pacemakers. Hmm...I guess I'm ready to die (though I did want to see my grandkids first...). But I can't get morbid yet. Today is only the blood-letting; the physicals are three or four weeks away.

Emaciated? I don't think so.

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College Bible study

Last night was the final meeting of our summer college Bible study. It lasted for 8 weeks, on Friday nights. We studied the Gospel of John, and "read" the text via a movie made from the TEV version of the gospel. G. lead the study for all weeks except I did it once when he was away. His approach was to study the major themes presented in John and show how these were manifested in the OT. The themes for the eight weeks were Christ is :

1. The Word
2. Living Water
3. Bread of LIfe
4. Light of the world
5. Lamb of God/Good Shepherd
6. Truth
7. Unity
8. The King

The whole idea of having this study was mine, but I was happy that G. liked the idea and was willing to put in the time of study and preparation each week. He did a good job.

After the study, there was a time of games and food and socializing. I used this as a time to observe how twenty-something young people iinteract with each other. It seems this group had more than its share of intelligent introverts. They like to socialize too, at least a little, as long as someone else initiates the interaction.

All in all, it was a good time. If I had it to do over again, I'd do a couple things differently. One thing, I would not worry about how big the house was and open it to all post-HS kids. I think some kids got left out who would have liked to come.

Java programmer

G. needs one. He says they're a dime a dozen coming out of college, but scarce as hens' teeth in our organization. He also needs a Cocoon programmer. (I don't really even know what Cocoon is, but I guess it is a programming language.)

No cooking tonight

Yay! I didn't have to cook dinner tonight. Why? you ask.* Well, D. and his "friend" decided to make dinner. I'm all for that! He went to the store and bought a few ingredients and they made tacos, Mexican rice, and heated some vegetables. Not bad. And--the best part--they cleaned up the kitchen afterwards.

I say "friend" because it is probably too early in the relationship to say "girlfriend." I pray that the Lord will lead them clearly and they will honor him in their relationship. D. has a lot of years of education ahead of him if he wants to become a doctor, so I don't know how that fits into the equation either.

R. is saying goodbye to one of her friends tonight. They have gone to Bible study. He "doesn't date," so there was never any need to worry about what to call him :-) He has been a good friend to her this summer--made her get involved at church--and I think she has helped him to broaden his horizons a little too. They just drove off to Bible study with her driving--this might be only the second or third time she's driven in the last 6 months. Lord, keep them safe! He did say a funny thing to her early this summer (well, at least I thought it was funny) "I don't want to spend time with you because then I might like you." He would make Joshua Harris proud.

*I use the pronoun rhetorically, since I have no evidence that anyone reads this. I know a couple people have read one or two entries in the past, but I suspect no one reads it regularily.

Overbearing nag

That's what I am. I expect too much, I demand too much, I ask for too much. At least that is what I'm told. I guess the only thing I'm doing right is making sure they get an education so they can get a job that pays enough that they don't have to live with me forever. And when they leave, they won't have to listen to me anymore. I'm not saying this with anger. I just saying it factually. I believe that if they live in my house I get to set the rules about curfew, regardless of their age or educational status. If they pay the bills in their own homes, then I won't have anything to say about what they do, when they do it, or with whom they do it. Or what time they get out of bed.