A week of tears

This has been a hard week for me. A week ago tonight I cried at a wedding, and not just for the reasons that women cry at weddings. Then I cried during the stress of packing up one child and then I cried from the sadness of her leaving. Then I cried during the stress of packing the other kid up and then I cried from the sadness of him leaving. And don't forget crying from the sadness of having the other kid thousands of miles away. (And then there's the crying from feeling stupid and selfish for crying.)

Yes, all the kids leaving makes me sad. But other things make me sad too. In fact, I feel like I have a long list lof things making me sad right now. One of the is the feeling that I am invisible, like no one* really cares about the sadness I feel.

And really, why should they? I'm the steady person who helps others, not the person whom others help. I'm the person who serves others, not the person whom others serve.

I really shouldn't post this. It is truely stupid to wallow in self-pity, but that is indeed how I feel at the moment. I feel sad and invisible.

*I am lucky, I realize, to have a husband who tolerates all this crying and self pity of mine. He doesn't exactly empathize, but neither does he criticize. He listenes to me complain and doesn't, for the most part, get upset. He'll never get an award for World's Best Family Counselor, but at least he doesn't reject me and he takes my grievences seriously, while pointing out the other person's side of the story. I am blessed to have his steady agape love.