Thursday, August 31, 2006

I'm Home

No, not my home--my mom's home. We normally come here just once a year (yes, we both live in Texas, but 500 miles apart) and always at Christmas. So when I walked in today, my mind was flooded with memories: Where is the Christmas tree? (It is August.) Where is grandma? (She died a couple years ago.) And even, where is dad? (He died several years ago.)

There were some fresher memories too: The last time we were here Rachel's (then) bf was here too, and that had been a happy time for her. And tonight I'm sleeping in the bed where Gary and I have spent almost all our 30 anniversary nights (we were married on Christmas).

And some older memories too--many things in this place are things from my childhood. I wonder how much longer mom will live here?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Some Progress

An official name badge seems like progress, doesn't it? Rachel also made herself some homemade photo business cards to give to the school principals and secretaries. Her first attempt at handing one out (at an elementary that was on her way to a babysitting job) proved their usefullness. The principal asked her if she'd like to sub for Kindergarten on Friday.

In an unrelated note, I'm about 24 hours into a migraine, and it turns out that I need to drive to McAllen tomorrow. If you read this in time, you might pray with me that I will get a good sleep tonight and wake up early without a headache.

Monday, August 28, 2006


The title of this blog has to be reviewed every so often. My nest, at this stage of my life, is supposed to be empty. Since my boys are off, that just leaves Rachel, and she and we continue to try to figure out how to separate. Until now she hasn't had the financial resources to pay her own way, and that means she is still connected to us financially. That means she can't make all her own decisions about everything--that doesn't happen until there is financial independence. That is what we are aiming for, and what she is aiming for.

It is looking likely that she will get on the sub list for two big local school districts soon. It remains to be seen how often she will get called to come in. The pay isn't that great, but Rachel has reminded us that subbing is good experience for a teacher, and that subbing will make her more prepared and more confident to have her own classroom one day. She still has a number of babysitting jobs too, and that helps a little.

I am the impatient type, so it has been hard for me to have her so underemployed since last January. You can pray that God will help me to be more patient.

I think we may have come to a decent compromise that will help me to back off: we are going to ask Rachel to pay for all her own expenses (you know--car insurance, health insurance, phone, gas, food, rent, etc.) starting October 1. Up to this point she has been paying everything except health insurance and rent; unfortunately, adding those two will be a big chunk. But I just feel that she must take that responsibility upon herself. When she does that, it will be easier for me to quit "running her life" and for us to separate.

It will no longer be my concern that she get a job, or get a better job. It is her responsibility to pay her own way, including paying rent to us for our garage apartment. How she comes up with the money to do that is hers to figure out. (That won't stop me from praying that God will provide her with a good full time job that suits her and isn't too far away.)

I have hope that this new arrangement will improve our relationship. It will certainly give her the opportunity to take responsibility for herself, and not always have me telling her what to do. She will be independent because she is financially independent.