All That and a Bag of Chips

Only at my place of work would they walk around handing out free bags of chips. You know, chips delivered to the Center by the boxful, days away from expiration, but still plenty good enough. Missionaries aren't all that picky. At least when it comes to eating.

Do You See What I See?

You know, I keep threatening to write a book called "Only At My Place of Work." It will be a funny book, a tally of the the comical things that happen around here. I'm collecting these tidbits in this blog for safekeeping.

Today I overheard this conversation, which, like so many of my episodes, has to do with the boutique. Today I heard a young woman telling about finding a box of contacts (those disposable kind) in the boutique. Now WHO would put such a thing in the boutique in the first place?? I have no idea! But this student was SO happy because "these contacts are the same brand and the same prescription that I need for my left eye!"

Boiler Onions

Today I walked down to the small communal kitchen in my office building and found a paper bag that said on the outside: Help Yourself. Inside were a handful of small, dry onions.

Usually it is day-old bread or garbage bags full of old donuts or expired Easter cookies. But not today--today it was onions. So, yes, I took one. One never knows when one might need a boiler onion.

This is going into the book I'm going to write someday called Only At My Place of Work.

Buffalo, Girls?

When I saw this ad on the bulletin board at work today, I had to go buy some:

For Sale: Buffalo
$3/lb, sold in 4 lb. packages
Call Bob.

This will be added to my notes for the book I'm going to write someday: Only At My Place of Work.

Hmm, I wonder if I have any buffalo recipes in any of those cookbooks I own ...

Only at My Place of Work

...would you see a hippie wearing a headband walking across campus playing hymns on a harmonica.

Geek Meets Tightwad (Only Two Wads Allowed)

Only at my place of employment would you get an announcement like the following:

Last year the maintenance department was called 522 times to respond to plugged toilets. That's an average of over two per day. Each response took an average of 30 minutes of time, which comes to 261 hours for the year. We have found that because our toilets are water savers, using only 1.8 gal/flush, they plug much easier than the older toilets. Most of the time water saver toilets will flush OK with two wads of paper, but a third wad can cause problems. Please feel free to flush more to help reduce the number of plugs. The labor to unplug the toilets last year cost more than $5,000 while 522 more flushes would have only cost $5.63. Thanks for helping!

I just want you to know that around here, we analyze everything. Look for this information to be added to the Enterprise Data Model (EDM) after which the head Enterprise Architect (EA) will be assigning work orders to deal with the issue, pending buy-in from each of the major centers, approval of his budget for next fiscal year, and the solution to all security and sensitivity concerns.