Sunday, June 12, 2005

Advice for the Newlyweds

Today I attended a bridal shower for my good friend's daughter. In many ways I think of her as my daughter too, since our families have been close friends for many years. We played a couple shower games (I even won one of them) and we ate cake and watched her open her nice gifts. Then we went around the room and everyone there who was married gave her advice:
  • Be flexible.
  • When you've found what you're looking for, quit looking.
  • Pray.
  • Tell your husband thank you every day for some little or big thing he does for you and for your marriage. He needs to feel appreciated.
  • You can't change him.
  • Go to bed at the same time.
  • If you both have a computer, put them in the same room.
  • Remember to laugh.
  • Know your husband well enough to know what he likes.
  • You will have negative feelings, but hang in there. It will get better.
  • The first year is the worst.
  • It gets better as the years go by.
  • Let it go. Ask, "Will this [insert annoying thing] matter in five years?"
  • When you spat, don't both spat at the same time.
  • Fight fairly. Deal with one issue at a time. Keep the issue the issue.
  • Be kind while fighting.
  • Never say God is on your side in order to win an argument.
  • Say, "I feel angry," rather than, "You make me angry."
  • After an argument, bow down so low that he will get the pie in his face. (This one puzzled us until the woman explained that it meant let him take full responsibility for an action you don't agree with; don't protect him from his own folly.) (Hmm, I'm still thinking about this one.)

4 comments:

Sharon said...

The first year is the worst?

Thainamu said...

Sharon, many women at our shower agreed, as did I, that the first year was the worst (and we soon will celebrate 30 years). That's the bad news. The good news: it gets better every year after that :-)

Ma Hoyt said...

That "first year" business is very strange, because Loren and I both thought things were a lot easier than we had been told to expect.

Maybe it was in part because he was 7 years older than I, and, he was just older. (28)

I guess if I had to pick a "wave pattern," I'd pick an undulating one, that alternates between up and down, rather than one that just gradually goes up or down. (depending on whether "up" or "down" means "good" or "bad," to you)

MoM said...

I think I kind of agree with Ma...Life is full of ups and downs, arguments and making up, have and have nots, inlaws and outlaws, but most of all as long as you remember that it is God who brought you together and sealed the deal with his holy spirit as the glue...nothing can seperate you. Also, with each new day, week, and year change happens. This is good since the alternative is no change which is boring!