Friday, September 23, 2005

I'm Having a Ball

I'm cleaning out a closet. For some unfathomable reason, Rachel told me today she wanted to jump rope. I thought we had an official jump rope, so off I went, delving into the unknown depths of the front closet. I know there are coats in that closet, waiting for a less-than-100 degree day, should that blessed event ever occur. But I was quite unaware of all the other things in that closet. Here is what I found while looking for the jump rope:
  • 22 tennis balls
  • 21 golf balls
  • 12 wiffle balls
  • 3 hard rubber bouncy balls
  • 2 soft rubber world globe balls
  • 2 black tension-reliever squeeze balls
  • 1 cricket ball
  • 1 Panther Pride mini football
  • 1 Panther Pride mini basketball
  • 1 uninflated Mavericks basketball
  • 1 nerf football
  • 1 street hockey ball
  • 1 hard foam ball
  • 1 hard rubber egg
  • 1 pompom from a UofM ski cap
  • 1 marble
  • 1 beanbag
  • 6 shuttlecocks
  • 1 very large bat bag full of baseball stuff--baseballs, softballs, bats, gloves, helmets

There were also numerous tools for hitting these balls, but I won't go into that.

I wish the story would stop here, but alas, I hang my head in shame to tell what else I found. I found about 30 pieces of bubble gum that had been there since my married son was in 10th grade (you do the math). And if that is all I found, it wouldn't be so bad. The trouble was that there were numerous pieces of this gum with the, well, gum missing. The waxed wrappers where still mostly there, somewhat shredded by something--I hate to think what.

And after all that, Rachel said the jump rope was too short. So I gave her an extension cord, and that worked just fine.


Ma Hoyt said...

Thanks for making my day!

(I don't feel nearly so bad about our "toy" closet, now)

By the way, for the sake of clarification, was that an egg-shaped piece of rubber? Or was that really a hard-boiled egg that morphed into a rubbery mass?

I'm thinking that somewhere, there are a lot of mice with mouths completely stuck shut, and frankly, that makes me feel good.

I would never have thought of an extension cord. Usually I can't find one when I need it for silly things like plugging in lamps.

Oh yes....I think Rachel owes you.

Freethinker said...

If you plugged the cord in, you could have an electric jump rope - how cool would that be!

Thainamu said...

As for the egg-shaped piece of rubber, hmm, I'm not sure. It could be a hard-boiled egg somewhere along in the process of petrification. It is a sickly green color.

As for an electric jump rope, I was impressed enough that she could jump the manual version.

MoM said...

Sounds like you could open a used sporting good store. As for the gum...i hear it works well with "gumming" up the inside of small rodents (It has been recommended to put near gopher holes to rid one of gophers) thereby preventing other things to be devoured by them, causing a lack of survival. Such is life or should I say DEATH.