Now about single men. Remember, I'm talking about Christian single men.
1. Later - As with women, many young men today see the value in getting an education before getting married (often including a graduate degree). But then many go from there to get a job, buy a car, buy a house, get a better job, buy a better car, buy a better house. I wonder if it has ever occurred to them that maybe a woman would be interested in them not just their stuff?
2. The age aspect - If a man is still single at age 30, he shouldn't expect a woman of age 20 be attracted to him. If he felt the need to wait to get married until he was older, then he should expect to marry someone near his own age, not some beautiful young thing just out of high school.
3. The physical aspect - unless he is in perfect physical shape himself, he shouldn't expect all the available women to be tall, blonde and skinny. If women wait to marry as do men, they are already past their prime in physical beauty.
4. More on the physical aspect - Yeah, it is easy to become overweight in this sedentary society, but if a guy is considerably overweight, he should quit thinking about it and do something about it. That may mean getting some help with a weight loss program or a personal trainer, or an accountability partner. Losing weight will make him more attractive, and at his age, he might need a little help.
5. The social aspect - women can live with a less-than-perfect physical specimen, but she can't live with someone with no social skills. So single men need to learn to talk. At least a little.
6. Some men think they can serve the Lord better as a single. Yeah, maybe so, Paul may have thought so. But don't ask anyone in the OT. It seems to me if we read the entire Bible, there is considerably more evidence that God is in favor of people getting married than people staying single. It is not good for man to be alone. Or women either. It is well known that men think about sex "all the time." Is it possible that God gave men sexual urges SO THAT THEY WOULD GET MARRIED?
7. Time to grow up. Maybe living with one's parents is convenient and easy and cheap. But maybe the convenience of mom being there is an impediment to growing up and getting one with one's own life.
8. Young single men need to quit criticizing young women because they have "feelings" or because they want to get married. Yeah, they do. And they also want to have babies. I dare say that most women in their mid twenties or older are quite possibly going to have these feelings. Nesting is natural for women.
Whoops, looks like my list for men is longer than for women. Maybe so. Maybe that is because I see more men putting off marriage than women, and with Christians, if not with our society in general, it is up to the men to make the decision to marry. A woman can say no if she want to, but she can't initiate marriage regardless how she feels.
9. Fear of divorce - I just thought of one more item to add to my list, but it goes for women and men. Some Christian young people are afraid to marry because they have seen too many marriages fail, including those of their peers who married when they were young. I can't deny the statistics but I also don't accept this as a reason not to marry. It is a reason to let scripture, not Hollywood, form one's attitude about marriage.
As with yesterday's post, I'm not taking public comments. But if you want to say anything to me about this post, you can email me at thainamu at gmail.com
