Rachel's boyfriend broke up with her last night. No fight, just a quiet, "this isn't working and I don't think it ever will." He was kind enough to talk with me about it too, which I know wasn't easy for him, and which I appreciate.
I had suspected this might happen, so I wasn't exactly surprised. I'm not angry, but I am sad. I will continue to pray that God will bring the right woman to him at the right time--the same thing I've been praying for three and a half years.
Needless to say, Rachel's heart is broken. She had been convinced for some time that he was the one she would marry. Besides her emotions, she will have two other things to deal with. First, it will be hard for her to face the fact that she thought she heard God's voice in wanting to marry him, but apparently she didn't. Something like that could shake one's faith.
Second, in some ways the worst part of this for Rachel will be losing her best friend, because he was that as well as her boyfriend. But they have tried the "let's just be friends" route in the past without much success, so I have asked them not to do that again. I fear they will just find themselves back in the same situation if they spend time together as friends: attracted to each other, but he unwilling to marry her. I don't want her to go on that emotional roller coaster again, so I've asked him not to see her again unless he wants to marry her.
Even so, they will need to come to some kind of understanding about their lost relationship, and they will need God's grace and wisdom as they move on with their lives.
If I were allowed to arrange marriages, I would have arranged for him to marry Rachel. I always thought the two of them fit together pretty well (though not perfectly). And--no offense to either one of them--they are both somewhat odd ducks who seemed to be able to accept the other's eccentricies.
The only negative thing I have to say about his treatment of Rachel comes from the fact that, indeed, he never loved her: he was generous with her in all ways except with his time. It was sad to me to see him doling out his time to her in measured drops, when I felt she deserved to be flooded. I guess that is how he will one day know he has found the right girl--he will want to always be with her.
Let me end by saying that I appreciate the kind and gentle way he always treated Rachel, even if he never loved her.
I'm blocking public comments, but you can email me at thainamu at gmail.com if you have anything to say.
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