Humans Use Tools

"The guy who invented the socket wrench was a genius."

Shopping

(That silly titmouse has quit banging its head into the glass door, but is still outside mournfully crying for something or someone.)

We spent the day shopping for stuff for Rachel's apartment, which turned out to be mostly window shopping because we couldn't make our minds up. We are trying to find a table, a toaster oven, and a refrigerator, and not spend too much money doing so. She's not going to be happy to hear that I just discovered that I have to buy a new washer, giving me reason to spend less on the stuff for her place. (Unfortunately, she doesn't get her first paycheck until September.) In the words of my late grandmother, "She has champagne taste on a beer budget." We'll keep looking in the missionary barrel too, to see what we can get for free.

Speaking of free, Rachel is going to the Maverick's playoff game tonight for free, so I hope the Mavs win!

Crazy Titmouse

Were You There When I Made the World?

If you get fed up with the doldrums of your life, as I recently have, the Lord's poetry of rhetorical questions in Job 38-39 can furnish a bit of perspective. (copied from Crosswalk.com, TEV)

1 Then out of the storm the Lord spoke to Job. 2 Who are you to question my wisdom with your ignorant, empty words? 3 Now stand up straight and answer the questions I ask you.

4 Were you there when I made the world? If you know so much, tell me about it. 5 Who decided how large it would be? Who stretched the measuring line over it? Do you know all the answers? 6 What holds up the pillars that support the earth? Who laid the cornerstone of the world? 7 In the dawn of that day the stars sang together, and the heavenly beings shouted for joy. 8 Who closed the gates to hold back the sea when it burst from the womb of the earth? 9 It was I who covered the sea with clouds and wrapped it in darkness. 10 I marked a boundary for the sea and kept it behind bolted gates. 11 I told it, "So far and no farther! Here your powerful waves must stop."

12 Job, have you ever in all your life commanded a day to dawn? 13 Have you ordered the dawn to seize the earth and shake the wicked from their hiding places? 14 Daylight makes the hills and valleys stand out like the folds of a garment, clear as the imprint of a seal on clay. 15 The light of day is too bright for the wicked and restrains them from doing violence. 16 Have you been to the springs in the depths of the sea? Have you walked on the floor of the ocean? 17 Has anyone ever shown you the gates that guard the dark world of the dead? 18 Have you any idea how big the world is? Answer me if you know. 19 Do you know where the light comes from or what the source of darkness is? 20 Can you show them how far to go, or send them back again? 21 I am sure you can, because you're so old and were there when the world was made! 22 Have you ever visited the storerooms, where I keep the snow and the hail? 23 I keep them ready for times of trouble, for days of battle and war. 24 Have you been to the place where the sun comes up, or the place from which the east wind blows?

25 Who dug a channel for the pouring rain and cleared the way for the thunderstorm? 26 Who makes rain fall where no one lives? 27 Who waters the dry and thirsty land, so that grass springs up? 28 Does either the rain or the dew have a father? 29 Who is the mother of the ice and the frost, 30 which turn the waters to stone and freeze the face of the sea? 31 Can you tie the Pleiades together or loosen the bonds that hold Orion? 32 Can you guide the stars season by season and direct the Big and the Little Dipper? 33 Do you know the laws that govern the skies, and can you make them apply to the earth? 34 Can you shout orders to the clouds and make them drench you with rain? 35 And if you command the lightning to flash, will it come to you and say, "At your service"? 36 Who tells the ibis when the Nile will flood, or who tells the rooster that rain will fall? 37 Who is wise enough to count the clouds and tilt them over to pour out the rain, 38 rain that hardens the dust into lumps? 39 Do you find food for lions to eat, and satisfy hungry young lions 40 when they hide in their caves, or lie in wait in their dens? 41 Who is it that feeds the ravens when they wander about hungry, when their young cry to me for food?

1 Do you know when mountain goats are born? Have you watched wild deer give birth? 2 Do you know how long they carry their young? Do you know the time for their birth? 3 Do you know when they will crouch down and bring their young into the world? 4 In the wilds their young grow strong; they go away and don't come back. 5 Who gave the wild donkeys their freedom? Who turned them loose and let them roam? 6 I gave them the desert to be their home, and let them live on the salt plains. 7 They keep far away from the noisy cities, and no one can tame them and make them work. 8 The mountains are the pastures where they feed, where they search for anything green to eat. 9 Will a wild ox work for you? Is he willing to spend the night in your stable? 10 Can you hold one with a rope and make him plow? Or make him pull a harrow in your fields? 11 Can you rely on his great strength and expect him to do your heavy work? 12 Do you expect him to bring in your harvest and gather the grain from your threshing place?

13 How fast the wings of an ostrich beat! But no ostrich can fly like a stork. 14 The ostrich leaves her eggs on the ground for the heat in the soil to warm them. 15 She is unaware that a foot may crush them or a wild animal break them. 16 She acts as if the eggs were not hers, and is unconcerned that her efforts were wasted. 17 It was I who made her foolish and did not give her wisdom. 18 But when she begins to run, she can laugh at any horse and rider.

19 Was it you, Job, who made horses so strong and gave them their flowing manes? 20 Did you make them leap like locusts and frighten people with their snorting? 21 They eagerly paw the ground in the valley; they rush into battle with all their strength. 22 They do not know the meaning of fear, and no sword can turn them back. 23 The weapons which their riders carry rattle and flash in the sun. 24 Trembling with excitement, the horses race ahead; when the trumpet blows, they can't stand still. 25 At each blast of the trumpet they snort; they can smell a battle before they get near, and they hear the officers shouting commands.

26 Does a hawk learn from you how to fly when it spreads its wings toward the south? 27 Does an eagle wait for your command to build its nest high in the mountains? 28 It makes its home on the highest rocks and makes the sharp peaks its fortress. 29 From there it watches near and far for something to kill and eat. 30 Around dead bodies the eagles gather, and the young eagles drink the blood.

Home Alone in the Empty Nest

I started this blog a couple years ago as a way to deal with (dare I say it?) the heartache that I felt from all my kids growing up and leaving home. I think I could fairly be described as a "hands-on" mother. In fact, that would be a kind way to say it, if you know what I mean.

This past year my nest really hasn't been very empty. Last May, after being away for 5 years, Rachel graduated from an out-of-state university and moved back home. (The two boys were already mostly on their own, although with all the chores they give me to do, you might be tempted to think otherwise from time to time.) In general it has been a good thing for me to have Rachel home these past several months. I've enjoyed having her here, talking about the things going on in her life, having someone additional to cook for.

But there are problems with her living with us too, I readily admit. She herself vacillates from enjoying the easy life here, to screaming for a place of her own. Some of the remarks from her friends about my (over)involvement in her life have been hurtful to me (and I'm sure I haven't heard the half of them). The reason they hurt is because they are at least partly true. When I ponder this, I get very sad and think about if I were just not here, there would be no question of whether or not I should be part of a given adult child's life--that question would already be settled. Said child would just have to figure out a way to solve X problem without wondering if he or she should ask mom for help or advice.

Gosh, I'm sounding morose, aren't I? I think part of the problem is that I am feeling a great deal of loss at leaving a forum I used to be a part of. I talked with people there for two years, mostly young people, and I guess I kind of substituted them for kids of my own, and now I've lost them too. I am grieving the loss of those relationships, and feel a little bit angry and bitter because that loss was not caused by any real choice of my own.

Another reason I'm feeling loss is that Rachel is getting more and more independent (that's the good part) and that means she is leaving me too (that's the sad part). She has slowly been gaining independence for some years, but that process has recently gone into high gear. She has recently found a job in her field, bought a car and started driving again, and is making arrangements to have an independent household starting June 1. All of this is what we've wanted for Rachel, and indeed prayed much for, but now that it is really happening, I feel the loss at her leaving me--that empty nest feeling is coming back again.

So, what should I do about it? If I were just a little younger and a little richer, I would seriously consider adopting kids. At this stage, I'm probably too old and can't afford it anyway. Whenever I talk to my husband about these feelings, he hands me a list of projects to do for him. Yes, he's right, I could fill the emptiness by just working more. I mean, that would be good for him, if not necessarily that fulfilling for me.

On personality tests I score right in the middle between extrovert and introvert. I like my time alone, but when I fill up all my time alone with just paperwork and technology, I lose interest and become sad. I need relationships with people too, and that is the best way I can describe the loss I'm feeling.

Tuesdays

Occasional bloggers--that is, those who aren't in the habit of blogging daily--most often post on Tuesdays. Has anyone besides me noticed that??

If you want to see a couple more photos from Crossroads, check out Rachel's xanga site. (Crossroads was a blessing to her, but it is turning out to be a bit of a curse too--she had to go to the doctor today for a systemic allergic reaction that won't go away--an allergy to the stage makeup, we think.)

Hot

Today's date is April 17. The temperature got up to 102 in the Dallas metroplex today. There is such a demand for energy at the moment, there are rolling brownouts across the city. This means many street lights are not working, making for a mess for the evening commuters. The newscasters are telling people to turn off appliances in their homes.

We haven't had any rain lately either, and the poor bluebonnets look miserable this year due to the lack of rain.

If it is this bad in April, what will July be like??

New Life

Thanks be to God who gives us new life in Christ.

My blogging software doesn't do that cute thing like Xanga does--showing the music I'm currently listening to. But if it did, I'd mention that I'm listening to Easter Song by 2nd Chapter of Acts (I kind of give away my age with that, don't I?).

He is risen indeed!

Jew

Someone said she'd make a good Jew, and indeed she did. We attended the Crossroads performance tonight. It was a blessing for us to watch, and it was a blessing for Rachel to participate.

School Shopping

"Well, I'd like to buy these, but really I should first find out if they prefer Zaner-Bloser or D'Nelian. ... Wow, Mom, don't I sound like a professional??"

Foot Washing

"May your heart be clean, may your mind be clean, and may your feet be clean," she told me as she dried my feet.

The Joys of Missionary Life

... or not.

I saw a friend today who is leaving tomorrow for a month on a company business trip. "I'll be living like a monk in a tiny hotel room," he told me. What I wanted to say to him, but didn't, was "Well, you could have used your frequent flyer miles to take your wife with you. She'd like to go, you know." The reason I didn't speak is because I knew he had, of his own free will, used his frequent flyer miles to book this trip, saving the company a chunk of money. Nice for the company, but not so nice for his wife.

Go Mavs, part II

Yay! Someone actually read this blog and sent me a few more photos to go with the one from yesterday. I do remember David saying, after coming home from this game, "He's the nicest billionaire I've ever shaken hands with."

Go Mavs!

I have had a lousy day. I've been both irritated and irritable, both annoyed and annoying. But we all hate those blogs when people just air out their gripes, don't we? So instead, I'm going to "fake it til I make it" and show you this funny photo. Actually, the funny part is the pink "Go Mavs!" note that was stuck to the back of this photo, placed there nearly two years ago by Doro, our German exchange daughter. Before she left us she hid dozens of these little notes around our house, and as you can see, we're still finding them. This one surfaced tonight when we were cleaning off a bulletin board.

Palm Sunday

The one day Christ got the praise he deserved--nevermind the fact that those who praised him had no idea what they were saying and would kill him later in the week.

"If You're Going to Put It In Your Body,

...then don't buy it at the Dollar Store."

These were Gary's words of wisdom for today after tasting the black olives I bought there.

Yes, he got home from Australia safely yesterday, nice to have him back. He's just been told by his boss he has to go to DC for a short trip in the middle of the month, then to Denver late in the month. He's missing the only month we have beautiful weather in Dallas.

A lot of the past week was spent with the details of getting Rachel set up to get on with her life: car, job, apartment. If you're interested in knowing more, check here and here.

Up On the Hoist, Daddy!

I'm over 50 years old, but today I remembered something I did when I was less than 10. The man who is fixing up Rachel's car needed help with bleeding the brakes and since Rachel was babysitting, I went to the auto shop to help him out. Halfway through the procedure he said, "I'm sending you up on the lift."

My mind flooded with happy memories of running around my dad's garage, watching bubbles in the tank of water to check inner tube repairs, counting plow shares, and getting rides up on the hoist.

Your Fat Mama

David called today with questions about our family medical history.

"...So now you understand why I ate everything in sight when I was pregnant with you."

"And I thank you."

Don't Buy Junk Food

...at the health food store. The results are always disappointing.

Number 10

David called the other night to tell me he now attends one of the top 10 medical schools.

That reminds me. When we lived in Honiara (capital of the Solomon Islands), the hospital was nicknamed Namba Naen (Number 9) from some WWII designation. To make jokes, the Solomon Islanders would call the cemetary Namba Ten.

(OK, not one of my readers knows anything about the Solomon Islands, so you can just ignore the previous paragraph.)