Time for Another Flower Post

It has been a while since I've posted any flower photos. You've got to admire these Longneck Ruel wildflowers. They have not only simply survived the hot summer drought, they are actually flourishing in our neighborhood at the moment.

My best friend brought over some roses for our party last Sunday. They opened up nicely during the middle of the week, but by yesterday they were starting to droop. I found a way to lengthen their lives and give us the opportunity to enjoy them a few more days. The glass bowl was a wedding gift from Dr. and Mrs. Ken Pike which I hardly ever use, but it works well for this.


Speaking of roses, Rachel's Valentine Cupido miniature rose bush seems to have appreciated the rain we got a couple weeks ago because now it is blooming again.

Deal Breaker

Last night it was quite amusing to listen to Rachel and Laura discuss what would be a "deal-breaker" for any guys who were interested in Rachel. Rachel seemed to have specific ideas about age and height and weight, and Laura agreed with her "except if he annually makes more than 40 times his monthly mortgage payment," then maybe she wouldn't need to be quite so picky! We all got a laugh out of that.

They both agreed he should be a Christian and have a job and want to have kids (preferably biological, but adopted would be OK too).

Laura pointed out that there were a couple things that could have been deal-breakers for Andrew, except that these were things that were easily changeable. And we all noticed that Andrew no longer wears white socks. :-)

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Remember those days in elementary school when they were chosing up teams during PE class? The strong were chosen to be captains, and their job was to choose teams. Those kids with no pride would yell, "pick me, pick me!" in hopes of not being left with the rest of the losers who couldn't play, taken in the last round. Such a cruel procedure.


Sometimes fruit hanging from a tree seems to call out, "pick me, pick me!" too. There is a right time for picking. If one picks the fruit too soon, it is hard, sour, and underdeveloped. If one picks the fruit too late, it is mushy, rotten, and overripe.

If you haven't yet been picked, maybe it is more because you aren't quite ripe yet, rather than you're a loser who can't play.

More On This Topic

The topic of living with adult children came up again tonight. Should an adult child be allowed to ignore the parents' rules--nay, even the parents' wishes--while enjoying mommy's home cookin' and daddy's roof over his head?

I don't think so.

If an adult child can't live by the house rules, then it is time for him or her to find his or her own house.

Failure To Launch

Gary is out of town this week, so Rachel and I decided to watch a chick flick tonight. We saw Failure To Launch. It was kind of stupid, but kind of funny too, and even thought provoking in some ways--especially in view of some of my recent posts.

The movie is about adult men who still live with their parents, and like I said, some of it was pretty funny. The DVD also included some extra stuff, including a not-funny blurb about how the average age of becoming an adult (as defined by becoming independent and moving out of the nest) has gotten older in recent years. It showed real-life men who still live with their parents and real-life parents who make it too easy for their boys to stay. Interesting.

Growing Old

Yeah, I know there will be some readers who will say that I'm too young to be writing about growing old. But I've been thinking a lot recently about growing old, quite possibly brought on by my recent trip with my mom to her place at a retirement mobile home park in south Texas. (Maybe recently re-reading Ecclesiasties has put me in that frame of mind also.)

I still have a mom, so I can't be that old--I'm still the kid, right? But I'm beginning to notice that my mom is getting old. She seems to have gotten a lot older than just a year ago when we all went to Andrew's wedding. In fact, the reason I went on this trip was to help her because she, in her old age, had fallen and hurt herself too much to drive. Mom is slowing down, forgetting things, and her arms are covered with bruises due to taking coumadin.

Then when I walked around her mobile home park I met more people who were dying of cancer, recently widowed, or could only walk by taking the golf cart.

But I think the thing that is making me feel old the most, is my own children. Here we go back to the point of this blog: my nest is empty and I'm still struggling with how to deal with that.

Sometimes I think of friends I went to high school with who were grandparents by age 40. But then Gary reminds me that people who go to college usually marry later and have kids later and have fewer of them. I left the culture of those who marry young and joined a culture of people who go to college. So, if I'm logical about it, it is to be expected that my nest is empty of both kids and grandkids.

Sometimes I wish that my kids were married and had kids too--after all, don't they know that's what life is all about? No, maybe they don't. I guess they don't have to feel that way just because I do. Indeed, many people in their generation are not getting married and are not having kids. Some of them want to, many of them don't. Some are just waiting until "later." By the time they are my age, they won't be looking for grandkids, they will still be helping with homework and driving kids to little league practice. Or maybe not. They may just forego the having kids part altogether and just get rich instead.

Then there are the undeniable physical issues that prove that I'm getting old, menopause being the biggest. No woman would complain about not having periods, but the cessation of menses also brings with it lots of other changes that aren't so easy to deal with, like a foggy brain and other things I can't mention because this is a G-rated blog. Yes, things like that are making me feel old.

The last thing that makes me realize I'm getting old is that I keep forgetting to turn the stove off.

I'm Home

No, not my home--my mom's home. We normally come here just once a year (yes, we both live in Texas, but 500 miles apart) and always at Christmas. So when I walked in today, my mind was flooded with memories: Where is the Christmas tree? (It is August.) Where is grandma? (She died a couple years ago.) And even, where is dad? (He died several years ago.)

There were some fresher memories too: The last time we were here Rachel's (then) bf was here too, and that had been a happy time for her. And tonight I'm sleeping in the bed where Gary and I have spent almost all our 30 anniversary nights (we were married on Christmas).

And some older memories too--many things in this place are things from my childhood. I wonder how much longer mom will live here?

Some Progress

An official name badge seems like progress, doesn't it? Rachel also made herself some homemade photo business cards to give to the school principals and secretaries. Her first attempt at handing one out (at an elementary that was on her way to a babysitting job) proved their usefullness. The principal asked her if she'd like to sub for Kindergarten on Friday.

In an unrelated note, I'm about 24 hours into a migraine, and it turns out that I need to drive to McAllen tomorrow. If you read this in time, you might pray with me that I will get a good sleep tonight and wake up early without a headache.

Separating

The title of this blog has to be reviewed every so often. My nest, at this stage of my life, is supposed to be empty. Since my boys are off, that just leaves Rachel, and she and we continue to try to figure out how to separate. Until now she hasn't had the financial resources to pay her own way, and that means she is still connected to us financially. That means she can't make all her own decisions about everything--that doesn't happen until there is financial independence. That is what we are aiming for, and what she is aiming for.

It is looking likely that she will get on the sub list for two big local school districts soon. It remains to be seen how often she will get called to come in. The pay isn't that great, but Rachel has reminded us that subbing is good experience for a teacher, and that subbing will make her more prepared and more confident to have her own classroom one day. She still has a number of babysitting jobs too, and that helps a little.

I am the impatient type, so it has been hard for me to have her so underemployed since last January. You can pray that God will help me to be more patient.

I think we may have come to a decent compromise that will help me to back off: we are going to ask Rachel to pay for all her own expenses (you know--car insurance, health insurance, phone, gas, food, rent, etc.) starting October 1. Up to this point she has been paying everything except health insurance and rent; unfortunately, adding those two will be a big chunk. But I just feel that she must take that responsibility upon herself. When she does that, it will be easier for me to quit "running her life" and for us to separate.

It will no longer be my concern that she get a job, or get a better job. It is her responsibility to pay her own way, including paying rent to us for our garage apartment. How she comes up with the money to do that is hers to figure out. (That won't stop me from praying that God will provide her with a good full time job that suits her and isn't too far away.)

I have hope that this new arrangement will improve our relationship. It will certainly give her the opportunity to take responsibility for herself, and not always have me telling her what to do. She will be independent because she is financially independent.

21 Seasoning Salute

If anyone out there lives near a Trader Joe's, how about picking me up a jar or two of their 21 Seasoning Salute? Mine's all gone.

The Hive is Growing Quiet

This afternoon Doro left to return to Germany after six and a half weeks at our house. Our house was a hive of activity with her here. I've never met another person as extroverted or active as she is--always having friends here or always going with friends there, or painting a picture, or remodeling the house, or sewing a dress, or talking on the phone, or swimming, or taking photos, or begging to go to Walmart, or, or, or. As a busy bee, and a beautiful one, she had various young men buzzing around too, though she is not ready or interested in having a bf at this stage of her life--she starts university soon (but has to pass the TOEFL test first).

Speaking of bees, they were very annoying at our picnic last night at Cedar Hill State Park. They seem to LOVE Dr. Pepper. Doro avoided that problem by drinking water. But alas, before the night was over, she was the one who got stung.

Then on the way home we all had a big discussion about the name of the stinging insect. Was it a honey bee, a wasp, a hornet? Rachel insisted it was a yellow jacket, and upon further Google research, I think she was right. Not only was it a yellow jacket, it was a German Yellow Jacket.

New Things I've Learned Recently

I had never heard of antlions until our someone informed us that is why our parched yard looks like the lunar surface.



Another thing I've recently learned is a new meaning of the word rifle--"To cut spiral grooves within (a gun barrel, for example)."

Lastly, due to all the red tape I do for Andrew, is the word apostille. To get one in Texas only costs $15 and takes 3 days, kind of like an international version of a notary public authorization.

Passable and Agreeable

"If a girl says, 'I don't care what I look like. If people don't take me for what I am, too bad for them,' is she being wise or is she being unwise?"

"No, women don't have to really be beautiful--all they have to be is passable (that is, not so ugly that you're embarassed to be seen with them) and agreeable (that is, someone you could actually live with)."

"I read a book about a young blind man who thought he could judge women better than his seeing peers. This was because he wasn't blinded by a woman's physical appearance--he could see past the physical and judge a woman for who she really was."

"You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you do your hair, or the jewelery you put on, or the dresses you wear. Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is the of the greatest value in God's sight."

She Can See Clearly Now

Amazing! That piece of glass I ordered from somewhere in Kansas arrived at my doorstep in less than 24 hours! Unbroken! I was tempted by Ma Hoyt's comment yesterday to try to install it myself, and indeed I started the process. But Rachel objected, wisely so, when the insides of the door looked just a bit too complicated. I had gotten as far as taking the door panel apart and vacuuming up the rest of the glass inside the cavity. Rachel called a couple places and found someone only two miles away to install it for $50 cash, so she took it in. An hour later, she has a new door glass.

It was nice of the LORDSKNIGHT to volunteer to "return the favor," but hopefully his sense of chivalry will be subdued now that her car is again operational.

I should also say thanks to Marlon for giving us a lesson on how to use the tire guage and air compressor. Now her tires have more than 12 psi! The brakes are pretty squeaky, but maybe that problem can be solved next week.

Fixing Glass(es) X 3

I spent an hour at the optician office yesterday trying to get Gary's desperately needed reading glasses repaired, but with no luck. So I cannibalized another pair of reading glasses to fix them, at least temporarily.

Then there was the broken pane of glass in R's apartment, which, ironically was broken by a lovely stained glass cat as its chain broke and it fell.


Then there is the broken window in Rachel's car. We tried to get one at a junkyard, but no luck there. But one of the junkyard dealers told us to try the internet. I typed in the search criteria to a generic used car parts site, and within 5 minutes or so I had 10 emails from around the country saying they had it. So I called one place in Kansas and they said they would get it here in 1-2 days! If that really works, I'll have to find someone to install it.

Another Million Pieces

But this time the damage can be repaired with just time and money.


When we got home from church Sunday afternoon, we found someone had shot out a window on Rachel's car. There were two other BB indentations on the car too.

We cleaned up the glass in 105 degree heat. Have you ever vacuumed your street before? Neither had I. Then we walked around the neighborhood, and when I found that the neighbor's van window had also been hit, I took this accidentally artistic photo of it.

Rachel called a couple places and found it was going to be close to $200 to buy new glass, so the man who sold her the car suggested his favorite junkyard. That sounds like a good idea except who wants to send their daughter to a junkyard??

More Weddings

Today Gary and I attended a reception for Darrell and Sommer who were married a month ago in Michigan. Darrell used to work for Gary as a software developer; it was our first time to meet Sommer.

At exactly the same time, Chelsey and Chuck were being married in Denton. Chelsey was a friend of Rachel and David.

It is that time of life for my kids when all their friends are getting married. I pray God will one day bring the right person to them at the right time, and they will love and be loved without doubt or hesitation.

Clean Dishes

My life has hit a new low.

Tonight there was a cockroach half the size of Rhode Island inside my dishwasher. And the dishes inside were already clean. Now they're really clean since I had to run the dishwasher again.

Gary is never much help when I try to act like a helpless female around Texas-bred roaches. He just mutters something about "they're God's creatures too" and picks them up and throws them outside. Or sometimes he kills them.

Original Art

Rachel is fortunate to have these examples of original art in her apartment. All of them, except the pottery, started as photographs.

This is the Dallas skyline, from a photo Rachel took when she went to a Maverick's game with friends a couple years ago.

Everyone takes photos of bluebonnets.

Grandma Judy makes beautiful pottery. I love to give her pottery as wedding gifts.

Grandpa Wendell has taken up making stained glass, and asked for a photo of a kitty we used to have.

The last one is a woodburning, made by an MK friend. Rachel took the photo when she was a camp counselor a couple years ago.

Me and Baby

I know I said I wouldn't post any more Honduras photos, but I came across this one today when I was sorting some of my photos, and I just had to post it.

Another Empty Nest

You thought this was going to be another story about me, didn't you?

This baby cardinal fell out of its nest on Thursday. It hopped up to Rachel's glass storm door and started cheeping at Miss Kitty who would have eaten it if she could have opened the door. All the women in the house (me, Rachel, Doro, and a pile of Doro's friends) started clucking about how we could keep it alive, in spite of the fact that it already appeared to have a broken wing.

It only lived a day and a half in our care--we aren't very good bird mothers, I guess. And while we are sad, the mama bird has been distraught, flitting nearby and singing a plaintive song. She is sad because her nest is empty.

Silly as it may sound, this little episode is a good reminder of God's care of us. Imagine being loved by a God who is big enough to notice when every little bird falls out of its nest.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Honduras Flowers and Plants

OK, maybe this will finally be my last Honduras post. (By the way, the "I was there" photos are on my other website Linda's Family News, in case you didn't already know that.) Tropical flowers can be excessively beautiful. (Click the photos to see a bigger version.)





A few houses still have thatch roofs.

It was interesting to see many of these epiphytes (also called aerophytes) growing on the wires.

And this last photo is for Ma Hoyt, who lives near other corn fields.

Another Breakup

Last night my daughter broke up with her "friend." It seems there wasn't as much emotional trauma with this break up as there was with the last one. Maybe that's because she was the breaker rather than the breakee; more likely it is because she had not invested as much into this relationship as the previous one. But I think this time she will be able to honestly still be friends with him, at least I hope so. I don't know how he feels about that possibility.

I continue to pray for my two kids who are yet unmarried, that God will bring the right person to them at the right time, and that they will one day love and be loved without hesitation or doubt.

Birds I Saw in Honduras

While at Macaw Mountain in Honduras, we saw many beautiful birds, but they were in cages.

I also saw a number of other birds in the wild, including these that familiar with: red-winged blackbird, some kind of eagle, some kind of woodpecker, some kind of egret, and a northern yellow flicker.

I also saw a few more exotic birds: frigate bird, black vulture, mangrove swallow, green kingfisher, and the unmistakable white-throated magpie jay. But the most exotic bird I saw was called an oropendula. It builds the most interesting nest, a long hanging affair with up to 100 in one tree. I took this photo while on a river ride.

Creatures from Honduras

You already saw my cool spider and bat photo a couple blogs ago. Here are the rest. This first thing is call a paca.

Next is a shy hermit crab.

A moving green lizard with a blue face.

A turtle who has seen better days.

And one of a line of ants that looked like we'd better not mess with them.

Which Is Better--Ethiopia or Honduras?

Andrew and Laura seemed to be doing pretty way in various ways, but in other ways, it didn't seem like they were quite settled or happy (at least it seemed that way with Andrew). I think he is finding his job rather more work and rather more stressful than it was in Ethiopia, though the job there had its own set of issues.

I made up this list from things he said and things I observed while we were there:

Ethiopia was better in these ways:

* Level of education of the staff
* Church
* Coffee
* Personal security
* English is language of business
* Overall level of job stress

Honduras is better in these ways:

* Food
* Driving
* Fewer beggars
* General level of economy in country
* Ease of visiting family
* Internet access

Are Some Sins Worse Than Others?

Big sins with our hands.
Bigger sins with our mouths.
Biggest sins with our hearts.

Spider and Bat

Photo credits to David with his nice camera.

Preparing to Leave

Hmm, I thought my last post was funny, but judging from the dearth of comments, I guess I'm just laughting to myself. Or by myself. Or maybe at myself would be more correct.

Today David leaves to fly back to Houston at 3pm. We're on the same flight out tomorrow, but of course we go to Dallas from Miami, not Houston. So I'm busy this morning using David's computer to make CDs of all the photos we've taken while here. That sounds simple enough, but I've already messed up one CD and had to reboot.

Gary has made good progress on his databases. It is an added level of complexity when all the user interface has to be in Spanish (and Gary doesn't speak Spanish). Yesterday he worked with the head of the child feeding program and got specifications for what that db needed. It turned out to be somewhat simpler, but still needed. The food for this program comes from the USDA, and they have specific reporting requirements that this database will make easier to comply to.

Birdwatching

"Can I help you with this?"

Computer Crisis

We had a computer crisis this morning here in San Pedro Sula with Gary's laptop which runs Windows 2000. He had made good progress on his project and wanted to start testing it, but needed to have his computer and the computer (Windows XP) of the person filling in the db to talk to each other over the network.

Once you start fiddling with network settings it is fairly easy to understand why you can earn a degree in computer networking. We could see her computer on the network, but couldn't read it even after we set up sharing properly and diddling with various settings.

So next we decided to put Gary's computer into the same workgroup as her computer. But when we actually did this, we got a funny little message saying something like "you are now leaving the Dallas network. Please talk to your administrator." Then it said you needed to reboot, so we did. But then, the disaster struck--Gary could no longer log into his own computer. It just refused all our favorite passwords.

Fortunately, Andrew's cell phone dials America just as easily as anywhere else, so I called the Center computer helpdesk (after first getting the swimming pool answering machine). Fortunately, we were able to convince the guy there that we needed the administrator password or we were going to be toast.

Shortly thereafter Gary did get logged in, and, lo and behold, was able to read the folder on the other computer. That made him happy and now he's making good progress on this project.

The End.

How Do You Eat a Bag of Water?

You bite it.

Preparations--Almost Panic

I Love Honduras !

Well, it is only 30 minutes past midnight, and we are packed and ready to go. I have a note to remind myself to pack a frozen loaf of zucchini bread. You know Andrew and Laura want that! Also some cookies Rachel made for them.

Today went quite smoothly, at least for me. I wrapped up some stuff at work, took the girls shopping, made dinner for a last minute guest, and packed.

Gary had a few moments when ten people wanted his time all at once, so it was a bit more stressful for him. But generally speaking, he doesn't get flustered, which is nice.

If you think to pray for us, pray also for Rachel and Doro, repainting her apartment without my supervision. Let's hope they don't spill a bucket of white paint on the brown carpet, or any other disasters like that.

I hope to have some internet access in San Pedro Sula and be able to post once or twice from there.

Preparations -- Leisurely

We leave for Honduras very early Tuesday morning (Thanks, Michael, for your willingness to takes us so early). We are starting to get ready, but on a leisurely pace. Tomorrow will be the day for panic preparations. So far we have:

• Put address/phone/email labels on the insides of the suitcases.
• Packed two old hardside suitcases with children's books, for transshipment to Ethiopia when Andrew goes again (very heavy!).
• Prepared a first draft of a "Things to do/People to call" list for Rachel and Doro.
• Printed out a hardcopy list of my email addresses and snail mail addresses.
• Reinstalled the OS on Gary's aging laptop (well, we didn't do this ourselves, we took it to the computer help desk).
• Installed a bunch of software on said laptop: Office, Skype, Firefox, XML Spy, Lotus Notes, AIM, some security software, etc
  
• Collected a bunch of stuff to take to Andrew and Laura: sun screen, CDs, picture hangers.
• Bought a book about Central American birds.
• Read a little about the Mayan ruins at Copan.
• Read the World Factbook page about Honduras.
• Oh, and I can't forget to mention that Gary has gotten a good start on creating the Access database. Lucky for him, one of our office coworkers actually know how to program in Access, so he has been helping Gary quite a bit.
  

As for Rachel, she's baking some cookies to send to her brothers and Laura. If we don't eat them all first.

Chelsey's Wedding Shower

Doro joined me and Rachel at a wedding shower for a friend tonight. Chelsey's mom and I get together for lunch every so often and discuss our kids--two of whom at one time were dating each other. Doro told us they don't have wedding showers in Germany, so she was curious what they were like. This particular shower had no silly games, and ended in a prayer time, so maybe it wasn't typical either.


This photo is to prove to my far-away boys that yes, Chelsey was absolutely delighted to get a flashlight (batteries included) as a shower gift. Why did they ever doubt my choice?

Chuck, the lucky guy, showed up before the party was over. He came in time to try on his new wedding hat. It is a little hard to tell from this photo, but his had looked like a tuxedo. Cute, huh?

They will be married August 12 at exactly the time I want to attend a wedding reception of another friend, so I told Chelsey I may or may not make it to her wedding. We'll see.

Yet Another Empty Nest

This time, a real one that fell out of the tree into our front yard.

Speaking of the front yard, I thought these blossoms on Rachel's rose bushes were nice.

And now moving to the back yard, last week we had a Texas Spiny Lizard laboriously dig a hole near one of the sunflowers, and then later cover it up. Maybe it was a she and she layed eggs there. Do lizards bury their eggs?

Ice Cream

I thought Moose Tracks was my favorite kind of ice cream. That was until I tasted Extreme Moose Tracks.

Another Empty Nest

Wow, isn't Google maps great? Got to love those satellite photos. Last Saturday we visited Joe Pool Lake and found a nest of bluebirds. Today I found on the satellite image the very tree where we saw the full nest. Start at the westernmost parking spot, walk to the picnic table covered with a red roof partially shaded by trees, then walk 5 yards further west and there they will be.

Or so we thought. Late this afternoon Gary finished writing a paper he's been working on, so we made a picnic and took off to see if the bluebirds were still there. We were quite disappointed. The nest was completely empty, but it hardly seems those babies were old enough to fledge.

Then we found another spot to have our picnic, and Gary complained that I brought salad with chicken on it instead of hamburgers or sausages to grill. Turns out the previous occupants of this picnic site had left their coals burning, so to stop his complaining I took one thin strip of chicken breast off my salad and roasted it for him. :-)

There wasn't a lot of wildlife to observe at this location, unless you count all the speedboats and waverunners, but there were a few butterflies.

My Astuteness is Commendable

Really, it is. Ms. Tricia said so.

Dear Ms. Simons,

Thank you for inquiring about the fee postings on June 30th and July 3rd. Your astuteness to your accounts is commendable.

Through notifications such as yours, we discovered that EC*Web is reporting the fee twice, however, the fee actually posted to your account only once. We are working to resolve this as quickly as possible.

I hope that this information is helpful. Please let me know if I may be of further assistance.

Sincerely,
Tricia
Member Services

And this is yet another example to my kids who think they don't need to balance their checkbooks, "because it is all online."

Let It Rain

We've had very little rain here for a couple years, so when our plans for celebrating Independence Day were interrupted by rain, I could hardly complain.

The rain also caused Gary a problem yesterday. He faithfully watched 113 minutes of scoreless World Cup soccer--in Spanish, no less--and then got up to shut down his computer because a lightning storm was passing through. Just then, Italy scored. So he ran back to watch the rerun, then went back to finish with his computer, and Italy scored again.