Jew

Someone said she'd make a good Jew, and indeed she did. We attended the Crossroads performance tonight. It was a blessing for us to watch, and it was a blessing for Rachel to participate.

School Shopping

"Well, I'd like to buy these, but really I should first find out if they prefer Zaner-Bloser or D'Nelian. ... Wow, Mom, don't I sound like a professional??"

Foot Washing

"May your heart be clean, may your mind be clean, and may your feet be clean," she told me as she dried my feet.

The Joys of Missionary Life

... or not.

I saw a friend today who is leaving tomorrow for a month on a company business trip. "I'll be living like a monk in a tiny hotel room," he told me. What I wanted to say to him, but didn't, was "Well, you could have used your frequent flyer miles to take your wife with you. She'd like to go, you know." The reason I didn't speak is because I knew he had, of his own free will, used his frequent flyer miles to book this trip, saving the company a chunk of money. Nice for the company, but not so nice for his wife.

Go Mavs, part II

Yay! Someone actually read this blog and sent me a few more photos to go with the one from yesterday. I do remember David saying, after coming home from this game, "He's the nicest billionaire I've ever shaken hands with."

Go Mavs!

I have had a lousy day. I've been both irritated and irritable, both annoyed and annoying. But we all hate those blogs when people just air out their gripes, don't we? So instead, I'm going to "fake it til I make it" and show you this funny photo. Actually, the funny part is the pink "Go Mavs!" note that was stuck to the back of this photo, placed there nearly two years ago by Doro, our German exchange daughter. Before she left us she hid dozens of these little notes around our house, and as you can see, we're still finding them. This one surfaced tonight when we were cleaning off a bulletin board.

Palm Sunday

The one day Christ got the praise he deserved--nevermind the fact that those who praised him had no idea what they were saying and would kill him later in the week.

"If You're Going to Put It In Your Body,

...then don't buy it at the Dollar Store."

These were Gary's words of wisdom for today after tasting the black olives I bought there.

Yes, he got home from Australia safely yesterday, nice to have him back. He's just been told by his boss he has to go to DC for a short trip in the middle of the month, then to Denver late in the month. He's missing the only month we have beautiful weather in Dallas.

A lot of the past week was spent with the details of getting Rachel set up to get on with her life: car, job, apartment. If you're interested in knowing more, check here and here.

Up On the Hoist, Daddy!

I'm over 50 years old, but today I remembered something I did when I was less than 10. The man who is fixing up Rachel's car needed help with bleeding the brakes and since Rachel was babysitting, I went to the auto shop to help him out. Halfway through the procedure he said, "I'm sending you up on the lift."

My mind flooded with happy memories of running around my dad's garage, watching bubbles in the tank of water to check inner tube repairs, counting plow shares, and getting rides up on the hoist.

Your Fat Mama

David called today with questions about our family medical history.

"...So now you understand why I ate everything in sight when I was pregnant with you."

"And I thank you."

Don't Buy Junk Food

...at the health food store. The results are always disappointing.

Number 10

David called the other night to tell me he now attends one of the top 10 medical schools.

That reminds me. When we lived in Honiara (capital of the Solomon Islands), the hospital was nicknamed Namba Naen (Number 9) from some WWII designation. To make jokes, the Solomon Islanders would call the cemetary Namba Ten.

(OK, not one of my readers knows anything about the Solomon Islands, so you can just ignore the previous paragraph.)

Farewell to Zach

One of my favorite Indiana boys has finished his schooling here and will be on his way to Nigeria as soon as he can raise the funds he needs. He plans to spend three years surveying languages in Nigeria, determining where Bible translation projects are needed.

After cheesecake and Zach's speech, they played spoons. If you want to see this game in action, click here.

2 Out of 3 Ain't Bad

Praise the Lord with us! Today Rachel signed a contract for a job and got a car!

She will be teaching 2nd grade at Christway Academy, a Christian school only a few miles from our house. Her job doesn't really start until August, but she is already making plans for bulletin boards, telling me she "needs" to go shopping to buy classroom supplies, and wondering out loud about all the things teachers have to deal with. And in spite of currently being certified as a teacher in both Oklahoma and Texas, she now has to secure yet another certification, this one for Christian schools.

The car is an older model Subaru, and for being as old as it is, it only has 80,000 miles. We haven't actually bought it yet; we're test driving it over the weekend and will decide by Monday. But Rachel drove it home and seems to like it pretty well.

Thank God with us for his blessings to Rachel.

I'm Dyeing

As a good missionary, I cannot in good conscience, throw a perfectly good pair of Gary's pants away, just because he doesn't like the color. So I'm trying my hand at changing them from almost white to dark brown. I'll just hang them up in his closet and when he gets home from down under, he won't even notice that they aren't white anymore.

On My Knees

Last Thursday at my Bible study we sang this song, and we sang it again yesterday at church. It is a simple, quiet song, but has a powerful message. I was especially caught by the words of verse 3--sometimes we do find ourselves in a sadness that is not of our own choice, and there really is nothing to do about it except turn to our Lord.

When I don't know what I need
I need to get on my knees
When waves of doubt crash over me
I need to get on my knees

On my knees I find refuge
On my knees I find grace
On my knees I can feel You
Like we're meeting face to face
When I don't know what I need
I need to get on my knees

When I don't have strength to stand
I need to reach for Your hand
When life feels like sinking sand
I need to reach for Your hand

In Your hand I find refuge
In Your hand I find grace
In Your hand I can feel You
Like we're meeting face to face
When I don't have strength to stand
I need to reach for Your hand

When life leaves me with no choice
I must listen for Your voice
When lies confuse me with their noise
I must listen for Your voice

In Your voice I find refuge
In Your voice I find grace
In Your voice I can feel You
Like we're meeting face to face
When life leaves me with no choice
I will listen for Your voice

On my knees I find refuge
On my knees I find grace
On my knees I can feel You
Like we're meeting face to face
When I don't know what I need
I need to get on my knees

And just to prove how much I like this song, and spurred on by my efforts of yesterday, I purchased this song for download for $.88. Only after doing so did I learn that I'm not able to import it into iTunes. It can only be played by Windows Media Player.

Free Music Downloads

I suppose all my young readers will roll their eyes and say, "duh," but I'm just now learning about all the nice free music one can find on the internet. A while ago, my daughter showed me iTunes software and how to "rip" my small collection of CDs. Recently I found that if you find a place that says "free download" and click on it, the song goes straight to iTunes. Cool.

Today I found a bunch of songs by a group called PBC & Onora. I couldn't find any biographical info about them, but I like their Celtic sound, pure and simple, strong female voices.

And if you want to hear some less-beautiful, yet still entertaining, music--then click over to Linda's Family News and see the video from today's church hoedown. Yee-Ha!

Another Online Friend IRL

It was fun today to meet another person from an online forum I used to be a part of. He joined us for lunch at my very favorite place to eat, Ton's Mongolian BBQ. We talked him into entertaining us with a mini concert before he hit the road for DC.

Prayer Request

Rachel was awakened this morning by a phone call from a principal of a local Christian school asking her to fill out an application for a position that had just opened up. Just yesterday Rachel had called this school and was told it would be a month before they knew if there would be any openings. So at the moment Rachel is busy filling out a lengthy application which includes an essay on "What is your philosophy of Christian Education?" Lucky for her, she had this very same essay as a question in one of her Ed classes at college, and she was easily able to find it on her computer. So that will give her a good start.

Please pray for her and this application--she really needs a job, and this particular school is within easy driving distance.

Other Rachel news: Today she paid yet another fee to the State of Texas to apply for her Standard Teaching Certificate since she passed the two required exams. Also, we've about given up on the hope that she would find a used Toyota Echo within our price range, so now we're back to looking at other small cars. A car-dealer friend is looking for us, and said he has a small Subaru for her to try out early next week.

Last night Rachel attended the singles' Bible study from church and came home overwhelmed with stories of difficulties various ones were undergoing. With a laugh she summed up her own troubles: no car, no job, no boyfriend. Wouldn't it be a blessing for Rachel to get a car and a job soon so she could be happy about at least two out of three??

Thirsty White Kitty

Warning: if you have dial-up, it might take forever to download this video even though it is only 45 seconds long.

I got bored the other day and decided to look on my new computer and see if it included any video editing software. I found something called Movie Maker so I tried it out. (No, I don't think I'll quit my day job :-)

Click on the triangle.

Ouch!

Yesterday I cut my finger pretty deep. I was trying to split some speaker wire and I was using a paring knife in a stupid way. I stopped the bleeding with a dish cloth, then made a butterfly closure with duct tape, added a bandaid, then wrapped the whole finger in a piece of tee shirt. For punishment for my folly, I've had to endure three things:

1. Pain.
2. Having to explain the story to my coworkers.
3. Having my medical student son ask me, "Mom, have you been reading Where There Is No Doctor again?

Rainy Sunday

I had my camera with me at church today, so the folks in the back seat took these photos while I was trying to drive. We've had such a drought for such a long time, but it looks like the rains this weekend will start to make a dent in that lack. As Rachel said, this is a good day to stay inside and cuddle up with a book in bed. (Except how can I do that when there are so many basketball games on TV in my bedroom?)

It Is Not Good For Man To Be Alone

...even at this age.

Today we attended a wedding of two 70+ year olds, a first marriage for her. I was going to make jokes about how he tried to keep it "just friends," or about how they have a website just like all the young couples these days, or about the special wheelchair section at their large wedding venue. Or I was even thinking to mention how someone asked me, "At that age can they, um,...well,...um, enjoy themselves?" :-)

But I won't. I'll just say that all weddings make me cry.

March Madness -- Overheard

Those guys just can't pass, can they?

Why isn't my school playing in this tournament?


*******************************************

I've had two blogs for quite a while, this one and one called Linda's Family News. Often the second one has been a subset of this one, but I'm thinking to change that. I'm going to try putting less personal news in this blog and put it instead in Linda's Family News. If any readers of The Empty Nest want to keep up with our family news, just click on the link I've put in the right column.

And how do you like the new counter I installed with the cool world map? I stole the idea from someone else's blog. It is fun to see dots where all my friends and family live.

Red-winged Blackbird, female

I stole this image from the internet, but there were nine of these on my feeder last weekend. I searched the bird book and decided it must be a female red-winged blackbird, but why so many of them with no males? After further research I learned that juvenile birds look like females and also that the birds segregate such that the juveniles and females forage together and the males forage together, explaining why they all looked like females on the feeder.

Dead Roses

A hope for new growth via replanting.

Goodbye, ZFT

Due to reasons I won't go into here, I'm leaving an online community that I've participated in for over two years, Zeal For Truth. I've enjoyed my time there, and I think I've made a few friends, most of whom are young enough to be my kids. I think of them as my nieces and nephews, and they call me Aunt Linda. In fact, the screen name I used there actually means "your mother/maternal aunt."

Many times over the two years I've felt led to pray for ZFT members. Maybe they've prayed for me from time to time too, and I appreciate that. The highlight of my time at ZFT wasn't an online event at all. It was attending IRL the wedding of a couple who met each other there. It was cool to meet in person the people I had only formed online ideas about.

If any ZFTers read this blog, please know that I'm not mad at anyone there. It is just time for me to move on.

I'm blocking public comments to this blog, but as usual, if anyone has anything to say to me about this post, I can be reached at thainamu at gmail.com

Happy Birthday, David!

David came home for the weekend so we could celebrate with him. We took him to Ton's and we took him to Beauty and the Beast and made cheesecake and Italian Cream Cake.

Rachel's Week

..ended better than it began. On Tuesday she had a job interview that she felt went well, but she hasn't heard anything yet. Wednesday through Friday she had full days of teaching these four kids whose parents were attending a conference. I was truely amazed at how well she organized all the activities, and how much the kids seemed to enjoy it.



14-year old Jeremy was a big help too.


Today she took them on a nature walk.

Then made puzzles from a group photo.


Then made empanadas.


Then after she dragged herself home she looked up on the internet and found out that she had passed the last Texas teacher test--yay! I had been saving this gift for her till she passed--a set of stamps about children's books and the books to go with the stamps.

Dr. Simons

All the academics at SIL are trying to get their professional websites updated. The webmistress was complaining that Gary's didn't have a photo, and Gary was complaining that all the photos we did have looked bad. So at lunch I told him to stop complaining and go put a shirt and tie on and we'd make our own "professional" photo. It isn't all that great, but it is the best out of the 20 we took. Ain't monopoly film great??

I'm thinking it might be time to shave the top of his head. What do you think?

A Thousand Pieces

Rachel's boyfriend broke up with her last night. No fight, just a quiet, "this isn't working and I don't think it ever will." He was kind enough to talk with me about it too, which I know wasn't easy for him, and which I appreciate.

I had suspected this might happen, so I wasn't exactly surprised. I'm not angry, but I am sad. I will continue to pray that God will bring the right woman to him at the right time--the same thing I've been praying for three and a half years.

Needless to say, Rachel's heart is broken. She had been convinced for some time that he was the one she would marry. Besides her emotions, she will have two other things to deal with. First, it will be hard for her to face the fact that she thought she heard God's voice in wanting to marry him, but apparently she didn't. Something like that could shake one's faith.

Second, in some ways the worst part of this for Rachel will be losing her best friend, because he was that as well as her boyfriend. But they have tried the "let's just be friends" route in the past without much success, so I have asked them not to do that again. I fear they will just find themselves back in the same situation if they spend time together as friends: attracted to each other, but he unwilling to marry her. I don't want her to go on that emotional roller coaster again, so I've asked him not to see her again unless he wants to marry her.

Even so, they will need to come to some kind of understanding about their lost relationship, and they will need God's grace and wisdom as they move on with their lives.

If I were allowed to arrange marriages, I would have arranged for him to marry Rachel. I always thought the two of them fit together pretty well (though not perfectly). And--no offense to either one of them--they are both somewhat odd ducks who seemed to be able to accept the other's eccentricies.

The only negative thing I have to say about his treatment of Rachel comes from the fact that, indeed, he never loved her: he was generous with her in all ways except with his time. It was sad to me to see him doling out his time to her in measured drops, when I felt she deserved to be flooded. I guess that is how he will one day know he has found the right girl--he will want to always be with her.

Let me end by saying that I appreciate the kind and gentle way he always treated Rachel, even if he never loved her.

I'm blocking public comments, but you can email me at thainamu at gmail.com if you have anything to say.

www.pinkunderwear.com

We're not quite sure why Gary got these for his birthday. We'll have to ask his mom. :-)

I spent some time this past weekend adding two new sets of photos to my website--one of Gary's recent trip to Bremen, Germany and the other of David's trip to Ethiopia last Christmas. Unfortunately, the space I am allotted for my website on Comcast is full, so every time I want to add new photos, I have to take off some of the older ones, which is a bummer. I also updated a few things on David's page. I need to update several other things.

Rachel has a 3-day job this week taking care of 4 kids whose parents are at the Center for a conference. She is busy, busy preparing lesson plans, craft projects, and a fun nature hike. The pay is pretty good, but it is taking her hours of preparation ahead of time, so that makes up for it. Tomorrow she will volunteer at the Center childcare too, then lead the lesson on James at her singles' group, so she has lots to do this week. We are still praying for her to find a real job.

How and What to Pray

I didn't go to church today, because I'm sick. Well, I am probably not so sick that I had to stay home, but I didn't think I should work my shift in the nursery, and I didn't want to listen to people say, "Oh, you sound so bad, you should be home in bed." I am feeling better than a couple days ago.

I've been wondering how to pray for the people I love. It seems like I'm not smart enough to know how to pray specifically. I mean, I could be tempted to pray for a certain specific thing or another, but what if that thing isn't what God wants? After all, I'm not omniscient, I don't really know what specific things God wants for a given person.

Instead, I'm looking at God's Word, and finding things from scripture, things I can pray for myself and for others that I know can't possibly be the wrong thing to ask for. I'm using the 1st person singular pronoun here, but it could also be 3rd person.

Lord,

• make me hunger and thirst for righteousness
• make me find joy in obeying the Law of the Lord
• make me meditate on your word day and night
• help me to draw near to you, oh God
• let the Spirit direct my life
• give me your Spirit to make me wise
• reveal yourself to me
• open my mind to see your light
• help me to know the hope you've called me to
• help me to know how great is the power working in me
• help me to live a life that measures up to God's standards
• give me power in the spirit to be strong in my inner self
• make your home in my heart
• make my roots and foundation go deep in your love
• make me come to know your love
• make me be filled with the very nature of God
• make my heart and mind new
• help me be like you
• control me with your love

...to be continued.

Sick

I've not been feeling all that great this week with a sore throat, achy muscles, and a stuffy head (I hate when I can't breathe through my nose). I wondered if it were allergies, which I've never had, but which people who live in Dallas seem to get overnight, even at an advanced age such as mine. But then I had a fever yesterday, so I guess it must be a cold or the flu. But wait, didn't I get a flu shot??

If I'm not feeling better by tomorrow, Gary will have to take my turn in the nursery, which he kind of enjoys doing, even though he never volunteers.

10 Commandments in Court

Remember all that fuss a while ago about having the 10 Commandments displayed in a courtroom? Well, if they want to get rid of them in Bremen, Germany, they will have to tear the whole building down. At the bottom of the wall there is a carving of Moses with the tablets.

Not too much going on here. I'm done making breakfasts. Gary is trying to catch up on his work from being gone a week.

Rachel has applied for two more positions. One is at a childcare in town that advertised an opening in the local paper. The other was a completely unexpected phone call from the elementary principal at a Christian school asking her to send in her resume. She has no idea how he got her name. That, IMHO, would be an ideal job for Rachel. Please continue to pray that something will open up.

In the mean time, she continues to pick up a few small childcare jobs and she has agreed to volunteer two days a week at the Center childcare until she finds a paying job. This gives her a chance to play with the babies, and gives her a reason to get up in the morning. She will work there Tues and Friday, 7:45am-12:45pm. She's also helping Andrew send out tickets that he resells, and is still helping the folks with organizing their book of poetry. And she is teaching children's church once a month and working in the church nursery once a month, and singing in an upcoming Easter production. So she has a few things to keep her busy, but not all of them generate income.

Speaking of income, we've been happy with the way Rachel has saved nearly every penny she has made at these odd jobs in order to save for a car. So we will try to give her some funds to add with what she has so she can buy a car soon. We really feel like she needs to be practicing her driving again, so we are hoping to find a car sooner rather than later. That is a prayer request too.

More Cake

Turns out Gary had an early birthday cake too, this one at Doro's house during the first part of the week he was in Germany. He really enjoyed his time with her too, and we hear a rumor that she is thinking about coming to visit us again, maybe next summer.

One more day of making breakfast for visitors. Not as many have been coming the last few days, so my job has not been hard. Rachel has been getting up to help me, so that has been nice too. Gary seems to think it is nice to have coffee and cooked breakfast waiting for him--I hope he doesn't think this will continue...

Rachel still looks for a job. She applied at another day care in Duncanville today. We sure wish she would get hired soon.

A little bit of good news for the Impact Children's Library in Ethiopia. Andrew's boss was willing to carry 50 pounds of these books with him as he goes there to visit, so I shipped two boxes to him today. Pray they get there by the weekend so he can have them on time for his flight.

An Extra Long Birthday on Two Continents

Gary's birthday started out with a bang--or at least a sparkle--with a cake served to him at one minute after midnight in Heilbronn, Germany. Our first German exchange daughter, Sandra, made Gary stay awake watching X-Files DVDs until midnight, when her mom woke up her dad, and Sandra produced a birthday cake with sparklers. They also gave him a nice leather toiletries bag for a gift.

Five hours later they drove him to Frankfurt where he got the flight home, and was on the curb waiting for me when I got there right on time this afternoon. (The flight arrived early, but I didn't know that because our stupid internet connection has been down all weekend due to rain.)

So when he got here we had another little party for him--cheesecake, books, and Starburst jelly beans for him, and the rest of the presents for us: German chocolate, German gummy bears, and a specialty call "Snowballs" that are some kind of pastry that is kind of hard to explain.

Privy to Certain Information

It is mostly kids the age of my kids who have blogs, and mostly the parents of those kids don't even know what blogs are. And mostly kids who have blogs know, or at least think they know, that their parents do not read their blogs.

For instance, there are a group of kids I know who all have blogs, and they just happen to be the offspring of adults I also know. So what happens is this: I hear the parents say things about their kids when the kids are not there, and I read about the lives of these same kids on their blogs. Sometimes I realize that I know more about a young person's life (at least a given situation in their life) than their parents do. Sometimes I realize that I know more about an adult's life than their child does.

This situation makes me feel a tad awkward from time to time.

Breakfast with the Missionaries

My job for the next 8 days is to have breakfast ready for 0-16 people who will walk in at 7:15am (the dining hall doesn't do breakfast). Coffee is the hardest part--since I don't drink it, I hardly know how to make it. The overheard conversation (I pretend to be busy in the kitchen) is the best part--today it ranged from worms growing in the dirt floor of one's village house, to federalism, to happy herbs pizza,

Answers to Prayers

Last Sunday our Sunday School class was very low in numbers due to the bad weather. The four of us who were there sat in a circle and shared "prayer and praise." A woman told how her teenaged daughter had recently turned away from a bad crowd she had started to get involved with and was showing real signs of seeking the Lord. That was a joy to hear in and of itself, but then it slowly dawned on me that several months ago I had felt a real burden to pray for this girl, which I did, for several days. Then I forgot all about her and the fact that I prayed for her, until her mom mentioned this change in her life.

What does that mean?

Downy Woodpecker

This isn't that great of a photo, but you get the idea. I've been enjoying all the feathered friends who come for lunch, including this small male Downy Woodpecker.

I talked to a young single friend today who asked me who I was refering to in my first Valentine's post. I laughed and said, "No, I'm not naming any names." "You don't have to, I know you were talking about me!" she laughed. One reason she was so forgiving is because she has recently started dating someone. Now she needs to bring him by so I can see if I approve!

A Woman's Place is in the Kitchen--Sink

I worked in the nursery at church today. I thought this photo was too cute to resist.


We had some bad weather this weekend, including more than a 50 degree drop in temperatures since last week. What was worse was the freezing rain, sleet, mist, drizzle, and ice pellets. Thankfully, God protected us as I drove Rachel to her teacher test very early yesterday morning, and then back to pick her up at 11am. (BTW, she thinks she did OK on the test, but it will be several weeks before she knows for sure.)

I would have stayed home from church today after hearing on the radio how many crashes there were on the roads, but that would have left too many responsibilities just hanging. So after getting Zach, Scott, and Wesley to scrape the ice off the car, off we went, and God took us safely.

After I finally got out of nursery, I was upset because I couldn't locate Wesley and Scott, who had spent the weekend with us. Turns out they had left with Wesley's parents and failed to tell find me and let me know they were doing so which made me somewhat frustrated and anxious.
Rachel's choir practice and my Bible study were canceled due to the bad weather, so I'm presently just chillin' (and I wish that weren't literally true--I really dislike the cold weather).

In other news, Gary called from Bremen, Germany. He went to church twice today--the regular service and the contemporary one. Doro found someone to do simultaneous translation for him during one of the sermons. He said that after church they had been to town to see the musicians.

Interesting Statistics

For more information, check the IFOBA website (which I think is still somewhat under construction). Sometimes it is nice to see various Christian groups working together.

Worldwide Bible Translation Statistics

• World Population--—6.5 billion
• Languages spoken in the world--—6,912
• Languages with some or all of the Bible--2,403 (26 first published in 2005)
• Translation programs in progress in languages without adequate Scripture--1,640
• Languages The Jesus Film has been translated into--—919
• Languages needing Bible translation work to begin--2,529 (representing approximately 272 million people)

Living Roses

I think this year was her first Valentine's Day that Rachel enjoyed the holiday rather than dreading it. More details on her blog if you are interested.

Gary and I took a day off work for our Valentine's Day. Well, not really. Really it was to take Gary to the Low Vision Clinic to get his once-every-five-years eye check up and get the magic letter that lets him renew his driver's license. The eye appointment went well, and they said his macular degeneration had not gotten any worse, though he is now show some signs of far sightedness due to age. Then off the DMV for a two hour wait and a young lady who had no clue how to deal with the magic paper. Eventually, Gary was able to talk them into renewing his license. Yay, done with that for the next five years.

Gary leaves for Germany on Friday. Today each of our German daughters emailed a shopping list to him. So tomorrow it is off to Bath and Body Works and the Cowboy hat store to do some shopping.

Rachel still hasn't heard any news about any jobs, but she continues to earn a little money by helping an elderly couple in our neighborhood to prepare a homemade book of their daughter's poetry for printing. Her big brother also has her doing some legwork for him as he buys and resells tickets in his spare time. Pray for Rachel--she takes her last Texas Teacher exam on Saturday.

And speaking of brothers, David emailed me today saying he might finally get paid for some engineering work he did back in 2003 in developing electronic chaos system. Scroll to the bottom of the PASCO catalog page and you'll actually see his name in the credits. Yay for delayed gratification.

Singleness - part 2 - Men

Now about single men. Remember, I'm talking about Christian single men.

1. Later - As with women, many young men today see the value in getting an education before getting married (often including a graduate degree). But then many go from there to get a job, buy a car, buy a house, get a better job, buy a better car, buy a better house. I wonder if it has ever occurred to them that maybe a woman would be interested in them not just their stuff?

2. The age aspect - If a man is still single at age 30, he shouldn't expect a woman of age 20 be attracted to him. If he felt the need to wait to get married until he was older, then he should expect to marry someone near his own age, not some beautiful young thing just out of high school.

3. The physical aspect - unless he is in perfect physical shape himself, he shouldn't expect all the available women to be tall, blonde and skinny. If women wait to marry as do men, they are already past their prime in physical beauty.

4. More on the physical aspect - Yeah, it is easy to become overweight in this sedentary society, but if a guy is considerably overweight, he should quit thinking about it and do something about it. That may mean getting some help with a weight loss program or a personal trainer, or an accountability partner. Losing weight will make him more attractive, and at his age, he might need a little help.

5. The social aspect - women can live with a less-than-perfect physical specimen, but she can't live with someone with no social skills. So single men need to learn to talk. At least a little.

6. Some men think they can serve the Lord better as a single. Yeah, maybe so, Paul may have thought so. But don't ask anyone in the OT. It seems to me if we read the entire Bible, there is considerably more evidence that God is in favor of people getting married than people staying single. It is not good for man to be alone. Or women either. It is well known that men think about sex "all the time." Is it possible that God gave men sexual urges SO THAT THEY WOULD GET MARRIED?

7. Time to grow up. Maybe living with one's parents is convenient and easy and cheap. But maybe the convenience of mom being there is an impediment to growing up and getting one with one's own life.

8. Young single men need to quit criticizing young women because they have "feelings" or because they want to get married. Yeah, they do. And they also want to have babies. I dare say that most women in their mid twenties or older are quite possibly going to have these feelings. Nesting is natural for women.

Whoops, looks like my list for men is longer than for women. Maybe so. Maybe that is because I see more men putting off marriage than women, and with Christians, if not with our society in general, it is up to the men to make the decision to marry. A woman can say no if she want to, but she can't initiate marriage regardless how she feels.

9. Fear of divorce - I just thought of one more item to add to my list, but it goes for women and men. Some Christian young people are afraid to marry because they have seen too many marriages fail, including those of their peers who married when they were young. I can't deny the statistics but I also don't accept this as a reason not to marry. It is a reason to let scripture, not Hollywood, form one's attitude about marriage.

As with yesterday's post, I'm not taking public comments. But if you want to say anything to me about this post, you can email me at thainamu at gmail.com

Singleness - part 1- Women

In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm going to post some thoughts I've been having about singles. I have two kids who are in the singles category so I observe them and I also observe their peers. Have you noticed, like I have, that blogs are a medium favored by a number of singles to talk about their singleness? As a single friend once told me, "The internet is an open place" and that's where many of my ideas come from for this post.

My comments here about single women, and those of tomorrow about single men, don't actually cover all singles. I'm focusing only on singles who are Christians; indeed, the Christian singles' scene should look pretty different from the secular singles' scene. Also, I'm not talking about sixteen year olds in this post. In general, I'm talking singles who are post-college.

A number of young people these days think there is value in waiting to get married until they are older. That in and of itself, doesn't sound so bad. But it does bring some problems. So if they're going to wait, they need to be ready to accept what that really means.

1. The biological aspect - For women, it means they are starting to get old. Yes, I know, mid to late twenties doesn't sound all that old, but if they wait to marry, then want to wait a couple years before having kids, their bodies are already past the prime for bearing children. Besides that, do they know how much energy it takes to raise children? and to raise teenagers? These women will be old and tired long before their children are grown.

2. The attractiveness aspect - It seems to me that women reach their peak of physical attractiveness by their early twenties, and slowly go downhill from there. So if physical beauty has anything to do with the relationships they want to have, they need to realize that at 27 they aren't going to look as good as they did at 21, and deal with that. They also need to realize that it is very easy to gain weight and very hard to take it off, especially in our sedentary society.

3. The biological clock aspect - Women, especially intelligent women, are encouraged to get an education, get a job, and put off marriage and/or motherhood until later. Sounds like good advice. But how many intelligent, educated, and working women do I hear whining that they now want to get married and have babies? Why is that? That is because it is a STRONG fact of life that women want to be married and have children. Women have a STRONG instinct to nurture.

4. Expectations - OK, so what do these single women in their mid to late twenties (or even older) want? They've gotten educated, they've gotten themselves a good job. They've proven they are capable and independent. They have put so much energy and time and money into that, they want a man who is as perfect as they are. I know one woman who is whining about wanting to get married, but everytime anyone says, "well, what about so-and-so?" she always says things like "he's too fat/skinny, he's too intelligent/dumb, he's too short/tall, he's too busy/lazy, he's too quiet/talkative." OK, friend, be picky if you must, but realize you may never find a perfect guy.

It is entirely possible that no one except Ma Hoyt even reads this blog, but just in case any of my single friends recognize themselves in today's or tomorrow's posts, please know that I'm not picking on you specifically, rather, I'm trying to synthesize things I've been observing in various places for a while now. I'm also going to save myself a potential problem by disallowing public comments. However, if anyone has anything to say to me about this post, he or she can email me at thainamu at gmail.com.

From a Different Seat

Today we sat in a different pew than we usually do for church, right behind the teens. We attend a medium-sized church with a large number of teens. They have the habit of all sitting together in the front four pews. They are such an assortment:

1. The awkward ones--Though longing for acceptance, they haven't a clue how to act.
   
2. The abandoned ones--From broken or blended families, they seem too old to be teenagers.
3. The naive ones--Wide-eyed and unaware, they seem too young to be teenagers.
4. The sullen ones--Forced by parents to be in church, they pout. In some cases, they actually are happy to be there, but wouldn't want anyone to know that.
5. The confident ones--Though young, many are quite mature in their faith. These are the fortunate ones who have gotten this far in life without hating church or their parents.
   

The youth pastor made an understated plea for parents and teens to TALK and HUG. And if I may turn my blog into a soapbox for the moment--I not only agree with the youth pastor, I would say it much stronger. Parents, don't let your kids hide in their shyness or their introverted desire to too often isolate themselves. Talk to them and MAKE them talk to you. Yes, you can do that. Don't give in to their demands for you to leave them alone--they don't need to be left alone, they need to learn how to relate to people. They need your active expressions of love--emotional and intellectual, for sure, but also your physical expressions of love. And don't believe the lie that you can show your love in any better way than spending time with them.

Almost 4 Months and Almost $400 Later...

We have some good news:

Hi Mom,

I got the DHL marriage license today!!, I have it sitting on my desk. I will pass it off to our lawyer on Monday and see what he can do with it. Thanks again for all your work in getting it to us.

In other news, starting in 30 minutes, we become the substitute parents for 12-year old Scott. I need to go pick him up from school. Then take him to a school activity tonight. Yep, back to the kids-in-school routines. His parents are off in Seattle "piously pillaging prosperous patrons" for 18 days.

We plan to watch to Olympics opening ceremonies tonight. I wonder how oafy they will be? I'm sure Melchizedek will be glued to his TV--stopwatch in one hand and notebook in the other, checking for both time elapsed and style points.

Baby Pictures--Part 3 of 3 (David)

Isn't that about the saddest look you've ever seen? David was not an unhappy child, but at times he was, well, serious. This was actually a passport photo.

David was our quietest child. He hardly ever cried; he was what they call a "self-comforting" child which he accomplished by sucking his thumb and carrying a "tay."

He sucked this thumb all his preschool years, and then announced, at age four and a half, "when I turn five, I won't suck my thumb anymore." And he did exactly that.

David was also a very patient child, a trait fairly uncommon in kids. He would stick with something until he figured it out, long past the time other kids would have given up. I guess that is why the idea of being in college for 10+ years doesn't bother him.

Cash For Brains

This is not a very good photo, but if you squint you can see it is a new 14-volume Encyclopedia of Linguistics. Gary wrote an article for this encyclopedia about the Ethnologue." Today the big payment for his effort arrived--$88.03. We were about to celebrate, then remember that he coauthored this article, so, hmmmm, make that $44.01. No one goes into academics, or missions, for the money :-)

Gary is also getting ready to go to Germany soon. He's giving a paper at University of Bielefeld. He's has already bought a rail pass so he can go visit our two German daughers, Doro in Bremen before the conference and Sandra in Heilbronn after. He's planning another big trip to Australia later in the spring, but I'll post about that later.

While I'm talking about Gary, I should also show you what I bought him for Christmas/anniversary. This is actually his second Handi-Cassette. He wore the first one out. It is just a fancy cassette player that plays specially-made tapes for the blind, and allows the listener to crank up the speed to give new meaning to the phrase "speed reading." So with this gadget and the BookPort, he is just about set for things to listen to while standing in line or reclining in bed.

In other news, yet more problems with that marriage license. This morning I got a call from DHL asking me how did I want to pay. Well, I had already paid, thank you very much. Turns out the employee at Office Max, who ran the DHL kiosk, took the payment incorrectly. Several hours and phone calls later, as well as an sending them a scan of the receipt via email, they finally agreed to send my package.

Off to Africa

It cost only $95 to send the well-authenticated marriage license to its owners in Addis Ababa by overnight DHL. ("Overnight" in this case means three days.) The woman at their office had never heard of Addis Ababa. There was no cheaper option.

I made up for it by buying shampoo for $.99. Nothing but the best for my red hair.

Other chores for the day: buying vacuum cleaner bags, editing depressing poetry and paying some bills.

I feel down today, but I do have to acknowledge that someone kindly stopped to let me out into traffic and a mailman cheerfully said hello for no reason at all.

Baby Pictures--Part 2 of 3 (Rachel)

Rachel's first two and a half years were spent in the Solomon Islands. (My mind is flooded with things I could say about being pregnant and giving birth in a primitive country, but I won't, because I only tell that story to people who love me.) Even though Rachel weighed only 2690 grams, our village friends said, "She looks so healthy. She has fat papaya legs just like her mama!"

Shortly after her birth we moved to the provincial capital city and lived in a real house (with cupboards, electricity and plumbing, though no hot water). Rachel started wearing glasses at the age of one, little glasses tied on to her head with a ribbon. Though she didn't learn to walk until she was three, she had no trouble climbing. Rachel was a happy baby who hardly ever cried.



This one of my favorite photos of Rachel, because it shows her as an Early Childhood Educator (that's what they call teachers when you major in Education at college). Speaking of teachers, Rachel is still looking for a teaching job, so prayers for her are appreciated. She has had one good interview at a local Christian school, but there are no openings there at this time. She also has her second of two Texas Teacher Certification exams two weeks from today.

Even though she doesn't yet have a real job, Rachel has been keeping herself busy this past week, recently unveiling her Xanga blog and her website. I helped her put the website home page together, while she used Picasa to organize the photos. Stop by and sign one of her guestbooks if you're so inclined.

Car Repairs, Documents, Meetings

Our van has been leaking power steering fluid for quite some time. It got so bad we just had to deal with it this past week. That, and the brakes were making some kind of pulsing. And it needed an oil change too. Since we only have one car, our kind coworkers lent us their gigantic 20 year old pickup truck that gets 8 mpg. Luckily, I only had to make one trip to the grocery store before our van was repaired.

The van needed a new rack and pinion, what ever that is, and the front brake rotors turned, what ever they are. It cost less than buying a new van, and it is running well again, so I'm happy. We'd like to not have to buy a different car for at least another year or two.

Other very good news: my phone call to a certain unnamed country's embassy in Washington DC has resulting in the overnight document getting opened and returned to me one month later. Now I need to send it to Andrew along with over $400 worth of receipts for expenses it has cost me to get all the necessary stamps, signatures, stickers, impressions, certifications, authentications, verifications, translations and red tape.

My coworker and I kept busy at the office this week hosting a meeting of about 12 folks from around the world, folks from various agencies who translate or distribute the Bible. The poor guy from Sri Lanka they almost wouldn't let into the country. I put on a pathetic cereal and bagel breakfast this morning for those of the group staying in the dorm, but many didn't show up since they were still full from eating at Los Lupes last night. Providing snacks for coffee break afforded me the excuse to make some chocolate chip cookies, half of which are still in the freezer.

Baby Pictures -- Part 1 of 3 (Andrew)

A couple weeks ago Ma Hoyt gave me the idea that I would do my kids a favor by posting baby pictures of them on my blog. She is brilliant, I must say! It took me a while to gather up the courage, but here is the first post of three (that being all the kids I have), showcasing those beautiful children of mine.



Not that Andrew's baby face wasn't just adorable, but this photo is, well, uniquely Andrew. It wasn't taken when he was a baby, but presumably if it were, it would look the same. Isn't biology class fun??



When Andrew was 9 months old we went to live in a village on the island of Malaita in the Solomon Islands where they spoke To'abaita. We were so lucky to have a baby then, because he helped us to fit in. And, as you'll notice in this photo, he had no trouble fitting in himself. Can you figure out which one is Andrew? The other two are named Ebe and Meifuna. Andrew was slow to learn to walk because our friends and neighbors would never let his feet touch the ground since they all wanted to carry him. I truly believe that all the love and overt attention that was lavished upon him from so many people in these early years is what gave him his great personality.

More Fraud, More Red Tape

I'm a little grumpy today. I'm a cosigner on Andrew's bank accounts. He has been getting hit repeatedly by fraudulent transactions. My job is to contact the bank to report them, then fill out paperwork and have it notarized, so he can get his money back. Today he decided he had to close the account which keeps being hit, but the problem with that is all the valid electronic charges made to that account have to be rerouted to a new account before the old one can be closed. It has been a real pain in the rear.

I'm also still working on getting Andrew and Laura's marriage license through the hoops. I called a certain country's embassy today and heard the good and bad news: the good news--they found the envelope (which had been delivered Jan4). The bad news--they hadn't opened it yet. I spoke with the man for a few minutes, and he told me to phone back tomorrow morning. So I will.

I'm also a little grumpy about our car. Tomorrow it goes in the shop to have the leaking power steering fixed, the brakes fixed, the oil changed. I hope the car is worth the expense. It is annoying to only have one car at times like this.

Communication

I'm in a pensive mood at the moment, feeling a little sad, drinking a cup of hot, black chai.

I want to talk about a situation, but it is possible some of the principals in my situation would read this blog (possible, but not likely), so forgive me if this post is written using in certain generalities.

I had an interesting encounter with a fellow believer last week that I feel was of God. The strong tug in my heart to respond to an email, the timing of an unexpected phone call from this person, etc., made me feel God was there. I sent a reply to my friend and today got another phone call from her. My friend was cordial enough, but definitely not in agreement with what I said. She is hurting because her child is marrying someone they don't approve of, but even more, she is hurting because there is broken fellowship between her and her child.

Were I in that situation, I would be hurting too. Her issue is important and I don't want to make light of it, but broken fellowship with a child would be very important.

As a parent we just love our kids so much, we pray for them so much, we want the best for them, we are happy when they are happy and we hurt when they hurt. But that whole sentence implies we actually know what is going on with our kids. And that implies communication. Communication is the responsibility of both parties.

Sometimes it is hard to be generous in spirit and to allow our kids (I'm actually talking about kids over 21 here) emotional freedom to be someone different from ourselves. For example, if they make choices we don't approve of, what are we to do? Should we just shut up and pretend all is well, pretend we are OK with something when we really aren't? Should we express our disapproval? If yes, how should we do so? Is there a time for expressing it, and then another time for not expressing it?

Sigh. I hurt for my friend, even though she probably thinks I'm taking her child's side in the matter. I do blame her for not being more open to her child choices, but I blame her child too, for not being more willing to talk--shutting down communication just hurts everybody.

Whoops! Wrong Guy

After church today someone saw a nice young man* get into our car with Rachel and mistook him for Rachel's boyfriend. I realized what she had done, so I started blah-blahing to correct her mistake. Later I had to smile to myself because I remember a couple summers ago this young man saying to Rachel, "No, I don't want to spend time with you, because then I might start to like you."

That thought got me to musing. Has anyone besides me noticed how long young people these days are putting off marriage?

I wrote a couple posts on this topic a few days ago when I had read one-too-many blogs written by twenty-something singles. Then I put them in them in the Drafts folder, where they will probably stay.

*Nice young men are my favorite kind

Still Job Hunting

I made Rachel stand still for this photo after she got home today from a job interview. She was happy that the interview went well and the principal of a local Christian school seemed interested in hiring her--except for the small matter that she didn't really have a position open :-( But it was a positive experience for Rachel, and there is a possibility that a content-mastery job could open up (that's like a tutor for kids who aren't keeping up with the rest of the class).

Yesterday Rachel got a funny phone call from a school where she had earlier phoned and left a message. Turns out what she thought was a preschool was really a school to teach handicapped adults how to be car mechanics! Not exactly up Rachel's alley, but she talked to the guy for 20 minutes anyway, discussing the possibility of an administrative job there.

In the meantime, she's just finished a typing job for an elderly couple in the neighborhood. Continue to pray that God will open up something suitable for Rachel, preferably within easy driving distance.

Book Port

Gary has bought himself a new toy, a Book Port. Not exactly a toy, really, since it is a way for the blind to read books. (Gary, you remember isn't really blind, he's just legally blind, from Stargardt's disease.) This device replaces a similar one that recently died and allows him to download non-copyrighted books from the internet for free and listen to them with text-to-speech software. He can also listen to a form of audio books for free since he has access to these copyrighted materials via websites for the blind. He is still figuring this machine out, but he has discovered he can download email or written reports into it and listen to them.

More News

We've already gotten word from someone that they can make up the $200/month loss in our support, at least for rest of 2006, thanks to the sale of some real estate. We thank God for the way he provides.

We continue to ask him to provide a job for Rachel. She called 10 places today, got three possible follow-ups.

I got my annual mammogram report back today, and unlike last year, this one was uneventful.

Rachel has decided to make a website for herself, mostly to post some of her photos. I'm helping her with the main page and links, but she's organizing and labeling all the photos. I suppose when it is ready, I'll post the link here.

Speaking of photos, Andrew told me about a trip they recently went on to distribute goats in a very rural area of Ethiopia. When I complained about not getting photos from him, he had to admit he has lost the power supply to recharge the battery. :(

I've started working on income tax preparation, always fun.

Catch Up on the Personal News

Not much exciting to blog about, so I'll see if I can think of a couple family things to mention.

David continues in medical school in Houston. He doesn't write often, or call, but when he does he either has 1)something funny to say, or 2) needs something. David, if you're reading this, don't forget you owe me $$ for car insurance. Love you, Mom

Andrew and Laura are doing pretty well in Ethiopia. Laura's mom visited them in January and bought them a satellite dish so now they have 15 new Arabic channels to watch soccer on. And a few English ones too. They are still wishing Laura could find a job, and we are all still waiting for paperwork from the Ethiopian embassy to be returned.

Rachel is still looking for a job, but she is doing some typing for an elderly family in our neighborhood. Not much money, but it gives her something to do. She really wants to buy a car, but has only $3000 and the car she really wants, a Toyota Echo, is about $5000. She can get a Corolla cheaper, but the Echo sits up higher, and she can see out of it better, something we feel is quite important in her case. So maybe the car purchase is on hold for a little bit until we can figure out what to do.

Speaking of money, we got a letter from a long term supporter saying they would have to end their support due to the husband having a stroke and now they need to pay for his round the clock care. We certainly don't begrudge them this; they have been faithfully giving to us for our whole missionary career. However, it means we need to find $200/month more support from another source (or maybe Rachel REALLY needs to get a job :-) Anyway, we expect the Lord to provide, as He always does.

Gary is doing well. He went to Albuquerque in January and plans a trip to Germany in February where he plans to visit both our exchange daughters on either side of attending a conference. Then Australia in March.

Movie Review

No, I'm no good at movie reviews, so I'll just say: I liked it. We went on a triple date of sorts to go watch the End of the Spear movie at a local theater. There were also lots of folks from my work and my church there.

I wore my Waorani necklace as did most of the men in the movie.

The following is a prepared blurb about a memorial service held Jan. 8, 2006.

...a 3 day memorial service was held on Palm Beach in Ecuador commemorating the death of the 5 missionaries. Some 200+ Waodani and visitors participated - among them people from: Wycliffe, MAF, HCJB and Christians in Many Lands. Brothers of Jim Elliott and Pete Flemming attended the service. Wycliffe members Don Johnson and Bub Borman also attended the celebration. (Don and Bub had been in Ecuador in 1956 and had joined the team that retrieved the bodies.) Jim Yost, former Wycliffe Anthropology Coordinator and member of the Waodani field team, was also there by invitation of the Waodani. There were 10 Waodani baptized at the event last weekend.

I hope the movie is shown outside of the Bible Belt and that you all get a chance to see it.

Guest Room Revisited

 
Last night Gary and I reassembled the old bunk bed and turned it into a storage loft for holding all of Andrew and Laura's stuff. Underneath the loft fits a double bed for visitors, and with this new compact arrangement, there is now even space in the room to turn around.

I know there are many hundreds of pounds of stuff on that loft, but Gary assures me it is plenty sturdy and safe.

Eventually, this room may become part of a rented apartment, as it was years ago years ago when the kids were little. But for now, we still have space for visitors.

I Like Your Necklace

 
Several months ago Gary and his boss were in Orlando on business and Mart Green gave them a ride to the airport. Besides a ride to the airport, Mart gave both men a necklace (which they wore over their dress shirts and made it through airport security with no problem). Gary told me at the time the necklace was from the Waorani tribe in Ecuador, but I didn't pay much attention.

With the opening of the End of the Spear movie this coming weekend, I was reminded of this necklace, so I wore it to work today. My plan was to ask my coworker, who did literacy work with the Waorani, if the necklace was for real. Turns out I didn't even have time to ask--she came up to me and said, "I like your necklace." She went on to tell me that the string was made from a palm frond, the seeds were from a different palm and were naturally that color, and the ornament was a tusk from a white-lipped peccary.

End of the Spear

At church today we skipped Sunday School and watched a 30 minute "how the movie was made" movie about The End of the Spear. It was filmed in Panama, with indians from the Northern Emberá language group. It was logistically impossible to film it in the
Waorani area, but there were Waoranis there to teach the actors how to act like Waorani and to get the makeup right.

The most interesting thing I heard this morning was when Steve Saint, son of one of the slain missionaries, first asked the Waorani for permission to make this movie, they said no. Then Steve was able to persuade them to change their minds after telling them about Columbine. “Oh, that's just like how we used to act, killing for no reason,” they said, and then gave permission. (This society was one of the most warlike societies known to anthropology, with a homicide rate exceeding 60 percent as a result of warfare and raiding.)

So far, I've only found one theater that will be showing it this coming weekend, but I hope to get some friends together and go.